The 公主 Way

;')

2012-01-22T11:26:00.001+08:00

Will talk about my marriage life later but now...

I just miss these guys!!!!

all 13 OF THEM! From Leeteuk to Kyuhyun...
Where art thou Kibum
Where art thou Hangeng
Where are thou Kangin

2011 bye

2012-01-01T02:25:00.002+08:00

2011 goodbye

Allah gave me work, learn a lesson or two on life

And Allah showed me my soulmate, someone that I never knew, never care, never met before and never even think of but Allah gave me him for me. He is not even in my plan for 2011.

A new car is.

A new bed is.

A new house is.

But I realize none of that.

But the beauty of it all is I will be getting a car, bed and house when I am married to him. Thank you Allah for your grace and love

Walimatul Urus

2011-12-29T15:45:00.004+08:00

I can't believe I'm going to be someone's wife. I don't know if I should pity him for he is destined to be with someone like me for the rest of his life or I should be happy for him for he is destined to be with someone like me for the rest of his life... :) (Pun intended)

and soon I'm going to create a new tag.

Empty

2011-12-27T08:08:00.001+08:00

It's in 2 weeks time but

Why do I feel... Nothing?

Oh well, I bet the nervousness will come later:)

Good day everyone

Fun, sadly

2011-12-06T14:36:00.003+08:00

I want this bed please? :)

KL adventure. Though I lost my phone and still am very sad about it, good food, good coffee and good stuff lighten up that moodiness. Insya Allah there's blessing in disguise and Allah has a better plan (and phone perhaps ^^) in store me. I am thankful that the stealer does not ask for my wallet.

It's beautiful

2011-12-06T13:43:00.002+08:00

I don't know...

Today I blogwalking and I cried.

I see how once you have the strength to be with Allah, nothing else matter.

You might want to think about what human will said but then having Allah with you gives you some kind of strength that you could not find when you are with human.

I saw that long ago but today I cried reading one of my ex-student's hijrah. It was a journey, I bet a tough one for her but she survived. I pray for her and for all of us, may we still be in this road to HIM, with istiqamah and never doubt.

Wedding of 2011

2011-11-20T20:24:00.005+08:00

It has been way too long since I updated my blog. The reason? Sharing stuff on FB and twitter which is concise is easier nowadays.

As end of 2011 approaches, I received a lot of wedding invitation, be it from the people I know and those I don't. I don't know if it's the increases of age or is it the hormone, I am so excited to attend these wedding that I keep the card, put note on my weekly diary and make sure my parents remember it.

So far I have attended Kak Na'immah (one of the teacher in LA) and Kak Munibah (my senior who married our senior Ihsan Norkhair). and the list will continue on until 2011 lowers its curtain.

My brother will also get married this year. I am so excited for him and am looking forward for his wedding as well, more than ever.

Ummm, there has been so much buzz and talk about that lately because it's my bro and when is my time. hehe, living in the community of makcik and pakcik, ikhwah and akhawat, it seems like you cannot hide anything

I'm not saying anything about me.

This is a passive aggressive note

2011-10-05T14:55:00.003+08:00

I am mean... by words. I don't act mean, I don't do mean, I don't say mean. I write mean. It's all over my writing. If I feel so intimidated.

So....

Dear woman,

Who cares if you are a loser so immature that don't even act your own age and keep on bringing your past with him in my face? You don't have to impress me with such story that only idiot would tell.

Sincerely,I'm in the picture now, get that fact?

Good stuff is meant to be shared :)

But then I saw something better

I smiled

Talk and write.

2011-09-29T16:04:00.003+08:00

What's up with my life lately?

I have changed my workplace, from UTMSPACE to UTM. The experience is not the same trust me. When you work with someone older, you have to respect them. But when you work with someone older and has doctorate, you have to respect, listen to them and do whatever they say. Seriously man, I am not anyone's maid. If you want me to help you, there is always way to ask. Saying 'Please" could never kill you, you know? Seriously, I'm all out of respect if people keep on pushing me to do things for them.

Oh well, apart from that, I am so thankful that I have a great colleague. 'Atiqah is like one of the most unawkward, funniest person who jokes is all American-jokes.

I want to update more but I will after I'm done done done with everything else.

This journey

2011-08-28T13:12:00.003+08:00

My spiritual journey of Ramadan...

I wish I could share it but then it's way too personal for me to talk about it.

But I have to say, last year's ramadan was better although I finished reading Quran for this ramadan earlier.

May Allah allow me to seek the next ramadan.

And hopefully next year will be much better and easier to do ibadah, since I have you to remind me.

Cali girl is feelin' it

2011-08-27T07:37:00.002+08:00

Accepting is impossible but impossible is nothing.

Can I, now, cancel everything? Because I'm afraid of this heart-changing.

Because once I felt we were very close but now, even when you are standing close next to me, I feel we are 10 miles apart.

I don't know if this is the feeling Allah gave me to keep myself away from you until the right time come.

I don't know if this fear that vibrates in my senses is just a way to draw us apart for awhile.

Is it that hard to love and understand? I'm glad I never experience that.

"In this California king bed
we're 10 thousand miles apart
I've been California wishin' on these stars
for your heart, on me
my California king"

I love how this song depicts the feeling of feeling so far away although you sleep on one bed.
It can be that way.
If you left any words unspoken because you want to take care of the other party's heart.

But here is a wake up call, HE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND YOU HEART UNTIL YOU TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL EXACTLY!

He is not a mind-reader.
Tell him how you feel.
If that destroys your relationship,
at least you did try to tell him how you feel.
At least you will know that he is not the one for you.
You might cry first but you will feel strong after a while and you can confidently say
"he's not worth my time"

Why so serious?

by: the girl who is too absorbed in understanding the lyrics from Rihanna's California King Bed.

Holiday

2011-08-12T23:31:00.002+08:00

You never knew how things are until you experience it yourselves.

Hey, it's beautiful so stop complaining :)

"I cannot change the PAST, but I can let it go." FB status update, January 21st, 2011, 6:39pm

Ice

2011-08-07T12:01:00.002+08:00

I wish I'm loving, caring, sweet, bla bla bla.

But I'm not.

Deep inside me, there is this ice princess residing in my heart.

I'm cold when I look warm.

I'm full of hurt when I look happy.

I don't know how to care when I look caring.

But worst of all, I don't know how to apologize.

I don't.

Sorry is word I blurted out for nothing, with nothing.

Is there anyone out there who is willing to accept me for me?

I guess not.

So this is goodbye.

Beautiful goodbye.

Bored so goodbye

2011-08-07T00:47:00.002+08:00

You get bored after a period of time
you were eager to give the call but after some time you just let it go cause it is no longer exciting.
You were caring once
You tried to ask everything she did and how was her day but now you just don't seem to bother her at all.

Many men take their woman for granted.
They were so caring when they first chase you.
They were so caring when they first get you.
They were so unbelieveably sweet when they talk to you.

But after some time when the chasing period is done, when they get you for sure,
And just when you are deeply in love with him, time is up for them, they get bored and you get hurt.

Leave them. Girl, that kind of man will never appreciate you.

Damn it. Easier said than done.

(will edit the typo. Posting through phone and editing using it takes time)

yes this is!

2011-06-21T09:34:00.002+08:00

I feel happy nowadays... :)

because 'ini serious'

Me & my work

2011-05-11T14:27:00.004+08:00

you don't know how much I like my job and the people around me! I adore them so much... err, not all but especially My dear Kak La, Kak Maria, Kak Awin, Abg Fahmi, my neighbor abg Azry. Those upstairs, well, if they have the energy to go downstairs where I sit then we have time to chat ^^

In the picture, I was the only English teacher there. The rest are admin officers. Look at how crazy they can be =)

No hate.

2011-04-22T11:41:00.003+08:00

Sometimes this is what I feel:

STRONG HATRED!

But then it's impossible to hate a family much less your own mother. Yes, it was my mistake but then must she did what she did and said what she said? This is clear to me then: Even if you do Qiam every night but when you cannot control your anger, satan will still be there right? Children are test to a mother and a mother is a blessing to children.

Having someone who literally screamed at me is a blessing cause at least I have someone to remind me and all but then the words spoken right after that.... it stabbed me right in the heart, I feel like killing myself right then. No wonder they say pen are sharper than sword, words hurt more than knife. That was what I felt. So this morning, with anger, I walked out of home. However, with guilt, I drive away. I don't want to go out without kissing my mother but then after every word she uttered, I have no mood to even say goodbye. Even when she mumbled, I stuffed my ears with earphones so I feel less hurt. I know it was not good and it was rude but it was totally unbearable. I don't want you to put yourself in my shoes and I don't seek for understanding as write this entry because I admit it was my fault that I refuse to get out of the bed in the morning because I was too tired. My mother was mad.

It hurts.

I'll be better in a few days so if you see my next entry all praise my mum, don't be surprise. Things like this happen sometimes. My mum just being a mum and me I'm being a stubborn daughter that I am which I don't want to be but already am being.

and looking at it, having license now is a good thing, I can just drive away as soon as I get the car key whenever I feel like going away. And it's a wonderful thing that I don't have to get married. I just want to get out of the house.... That is how I feel now. I will say a whole different thing tomorrow...maybe.

Gossip girl?

2011-04-18T11:15:00.002+08:00

I don't think I'm ready to get out of my shell just yet. I look at the people around me and look at how they socialize with other human being and I know right at that moment, I wish I could go back to my old shelter where I was protected from the harm of the world. But then, this is how I learn about life, real life and the harshness of the world. Think I can get through it? I'm already here trying to figure out how hard or easy it could've been if I just close my eyes. I can ignore things if I want. I would love to stay away from the gossip and all the stupidity of the unnecessary. Lucky for me people around me are not much of gossipers and even if they are, I'm sure they will not get me involved because thanks to their mind-set, they will leave me out.

I'm don't gossip anyway ^^

Hello!

2011-04-16T12:51:00.002+08:00

Gosh, I don't know how stereotype people can be.

You know how I just got the job at UTMSpace and I like it there. And you know what kind of tudung I wear. Even if it's not too big like the one Mak wears, to them, it is still big. So to them, woman with big hijab like mine can speak arabic.

Alhamdulillah. They make me want to improve my language.

But still their stereotype is kinda what-the-fery

My fairytale

2011-04-07T08:13:00.000+08:00

'you make me wanna say I do...'

Did I make you nervous?

2011-04-06T14:49:00.006+08:00

You know what doesn't feel right?

He walked in and you did the very wrong thing. It's not even funny, seriously.

Letting that go.

These days, alhamdulillah, I have been doing great. Apart from my daydreaming about No Min Woo, the others are pretty much the same except for my working hours. Currently serving as Language Teacher at UTM SPACE, I report for work last Friday. Now I'm working from 8am - 5pm. No more lazing around, house chores and cooking. I even drove to work these days TT. Sometimes I think that I am not one to be binded by office hours. I prefer free style work but then I need to earn money. So now I have no other choice and be thankful for whatever I have and gain because think of it in a whole different aspect, it's like a blessing in disguise.

I will work hard and make sure the barakah is there while I'm doing my work.

Come to think of it, I should not misuse this well-connected wifi.

Off now~

상상

2011-04-04T11:53:00.007+08:00

"네가 나의 사랑이 되면 어떨까

상상만으로도 행복해 지는 걸"

♥

mind.

2011-02-26T00:24:00.004+08:00

Supposedly sleeping right now here I am, technically on my bed but with laptop in front of me and typing away my thoughts. I don't have much in mind lately. Alhamdulillah everything is fine and the sun shines bright on me. The weather has been fine (only it will rain on the afternoon but alhamdulillah, rain is a blessing, it will cool down the earth and we can sleep soundly at night)

Last few weeks I attended this good symposium organized by IQRA' on love after marriage. It was interesting as we get to listen to the first hand experience of those who fell in love after they get married. These couple, they didn't date, they never had premarital relationship, everything just happen AFTER the nikah. Interesting right? So I have seen them and a few of my friends did the same but the society isn't fully aware of that. Most of them wonders how that can even be possible especially when they don't even know one another. There were people out there to prove it.

I'm just saying because two people closest to me will get married soon and I am happy for them. Only now I realize how they have grown up. I'm the eldest but I hardly act as one.

In conclusion, I'm just saying.

Goodbye?

2011-02-24T02:11:00.003+08:00

I feel like I want to be out of this house as soon as possible without being binded with marriage. I want to be on my own and have my space. I don't regret, I don't seek understanding. If you don't understand me then that's okay, I know you hate me anyway so release me early as you release your son. You'll be happy without me I know. I'm not a good one anyway, no matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I try. I have been trying, I will try again. Thank you for everything.

.berkasar.

2011-02-19T11:22:00.003+08:00

Aku tahu, isu jamaah ni perkara sensitif. Karang bila aku bincang, tak fasal-fasal pakcik makcik cakap aku ni tak faham pulak. Karang aku cakap, kawan-kawan aku di sebalah sana cakap pemuda IKRAM tak faham la takde tarbiah la (memang la korang bagus kan tapi perlu ke tengok bawah (look down) pada orang lain?

Tapi kelakar tau tengok perkara-perkara ni, ISMA vs IKRAM ni. Sebenarnya takde mende pun di versus kan tapi asal ek kita tak bole bersatu je? Kan kita satu fikrah? Kan ke kita satu jamaah? Kan ke kita satu agama? Kenapa ek? Kenapa ek? Selagi kita tak bersatu, selagi tu Islam takkan menang. Aku ni bukan pandai sangat macam korang tapi benda asas ni aku faham, tentang syura, tentang kesatuan jamaah. Aku faham yang itu. Rasulullah pun ikut keputusan syura. Kita????

Oh well, aku tak faham. Aku hanya faham aku nak berjuang di jalan Allah. Fikir-fikirkanlah. Renung-renungkanlah. Moga kita bertemu di syurga Allah dengan kesatuan yang nyata.

p/s: Penat tengok ketidakselesaan yang timbul akibat berlainanan jamaah ni. Kawan pun da tak boleh nak kawan. Anak beranak pun bole gaduh. Kalau korang faham, sanggup ke korang lukakan hati ibu bapa dengan perjuanggan korang tu? Ini ke perjuangan kalau keluarga berpecah belah? Reflek sikit keluarga Rasulullah. Tengok balik keluarga Hassan Al-Banna macam mana? Aduh! member baik-baik nak kawin tak dapat sebab family lain jamaah. Sakit pening tengok. Aku doa aku istiqamah di jalan ni sentiasa.

So sometimes she does talk.

2011-02-18T00:17:00.004+08:00

Currently trying to prepare material for tomorrow's class. Eventhough actually I don't need to prepare anything much, still I find the need to do some reading on things I need to talk about tomorrow because the thing about me speaking in English is that, once I start, I could not stop. I don't have much chance to speak English outside of the class so I really use it all in my class.

and did I tell you about my lovely Sony was broken due to the endless accident that poor thing had? Now I'm using my brother's (broken) Nokia 1100 so no pictures. I was planning to buy a new one and I can't stop myself eying for iphone4 which cost RM2,100/gasp!. I can't afford it now for sure because my pay is focusing for something else before I could buy any expensive gadget. So I might go for something cheaper but has a good camera since I love taking pictures and to bring DSLR everywhere is an act calling for a punch. Maybe a new phone will ring next week? Will keep you update on that!

Driving license. At 24 (my age this year/gasp!) I just had the chance to take driving license. I'm not that young, I should be driving my own car by now but sadly I don't even own a legal driving license. I will be having my third lesson driving lesson tomorrow. After that, two more to go before QTI and that is if I don't have any plan for any additional lesson, which I originally had plan to do so. Wish me luck. I need more prayers on that since I'm planning to get my it before May.

The girl who wishes she is Khun so she could be close to Vic cause honestly, the reason why I watch WGM Khuntoria was all because of Victoria. I like Khun but I love Vic (I am VERY straight mind you) because Victoria gives off the feeling of a best friend that I know I will be concern of and want to take care of.

Speechless but never wordless

2011-02-10T01:32:00.002+08:00

There is saying that if you are mad, write it on the sand cause the wind/current will blew it away, erase it once and for all.

But there are things that cannot be written on the dusty sand.

Love is like cornstarch.

2011-02-10T01:08:00.004+08:00

It hurts.

when the person you love the most is there but isn't.

It's painful.

When you pretended everything is fine but deep inside it slowly eating yourself.

I have lost will for words, I often do.

I'm not much of a talker after all I know.

I don't know how to make things right by talking to you.

Sometimes I wonder if things will ever get right.

And when I do, I will think of my pay and scheme a plan to run away.

or I will say "I swear I will get out of the house without marriage"

Truth is, I'm tired of being an empty luggage that you hate to have with but you still have to carry it around because you feel responsible for it.

You hate my interest.

You told me I'm too direct with words that often times it hurts you.

I think by having me is enough to be an embarrassment to you.

You said I'm a shame to the society since I don't act like one of its citizen.

You told me I'm rude for saying I want to get out of the house without marriage because you, with angry face told me I should be making you happy, try to ease of things for you.

I never really live up to your expectation Am I?

I never really consult my problem with you or the member of the family because I'm afraid I will turn out not strong enough.

I don't share problem with friends because I don't want them to see another side of me.

I never share my problem with anyone.

I talk to Allah but I bottled it up from human.

You indirectly taught me to be this way.

No, I'm not blaming you.

I'm thanking you for making me this way.

At least I never shade any tears when the going gets tough because I know there is always a way out for every single thing.

I may appear strong.

But deep inside, I'm broken beyond repair.

I never did you proud am I?

I am the -yes-girl for the rest of my life.

Being the first and only child to have the best score in exam is not enough.

Being an experimental child to be sent to the toughest year of matrix life is not enough.

and I thought when I graduated, at least you will be proud.

But the way I see it, you are not.

That's okay.

I already used to it.

I just want to say I'm sorry.

I wish I will die soon so you don't have to see me, don't have to be burden by me, don't have to be ashamed by me.

I love you, more than you ever know.

Broken....

I know...

2011-02-05T01:33:00.002+08:00

I'm like

"kjasdbHSVFJAWEGFDB ZSDVbkjdfsdfbgerbhnd sdbkj,mnjhsakjdauerbrhrurihtern,sndhhbasbdsbmnbuerwiueh vu4y47587y54 mnbkhhgglSJDHUEHBkjhuhhfernm,en rjnhhvuhdoirgrtn,mnljaoisjwlqpoiqwr, vsd soinchoerentlikethat!" in blog/twitter/FB

but really, reality check I'm like

=.='

a boring person.

I even laugh at lame jokes.

I think heard someone's crying and I pretended not to hear it =.='

So you think you are lucky if you're in live with your best friend?

2011-02-05T00:54:00.007+08:00

Just like the song by Colby Cailat and Jason Marz, they say it's lucky to be in love with your best friend since that person already know what you are and you don't have to explain to him/her what you like and dislike. It seems easy right?

Alway always on the flirting stage, things seems easy. Because you are still at the stage of wanting each other but still you are not bound to him/her, you know somewhat play around. But once things got a little more serious, that's when you feel tired of having someone who knows too much about you.

No, I don't have experience on this matter but other people experiences are the lessons of my life. So they say experience is the best teacher right? Even if it's an indirect experience.

Well let's walk the talk. I the talk is, I'm sad with the world. War, Egypt matter, Ummah's matter, Da'wa matter, sides matter.... and I'm walking here because it feels like home to me.

I don't seek understanding, I just hope you will never question what I choose because trust me, whatever I do, Allah is still my guide in life. If I choose not to get married now, please nod your head and say "It's okay, you are young still". I appreciate the doa because I need the support but please don't try be a cupid and match making me with anyone. Recently my best friend disappoint me with her action. I thought she is my best friend so she ought to know what kind of girl I am. But then I was wrong. I guess it was the distance that threw us apart. We have been staying away from each other for more than 10 years so I bet that's where she missed me changing. So sad but with a heart of a best friend, I forgive her little mistake and I hope I will never have to go through this matter again.

And I wish my sister would tell me her problem because, well she has someone in her life now and it feels like the sisterly bond between us is no longer there. Sometimes I kinda hate that boy for taking my sister away, changing her, but most of the time, I will be patient with everything and sincerely accept him... I'm still trying honestly.

In the end, I think some of thing we need to ignore and let pass by us. Let bygone be bygone, Ignorance is after all bliss.

The Official 2011 talk

2011-01-16T15:46:00.004+08:00

"Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars"

I heard a lot of rendition for the song but the first time I heard Aaron Kelly's version which I downloaded by accident, I instantly fell in love. The combination of his voice, the music arrangement and the style is different and very jazz ^^

It has been three weeks since 2011 and this is my first official post in 2011. Though I usually hang out a lot on the internet (because internet is my lover), I feel like I'm way too lazy to write a very long post like I used to. We have twitter now so we can say whatever we want in less than 140 characters. Neat right? But sometimes I need to talk more than 140 characters so that's when I turn to you dear Princess (the name of the blog).

An update on work:

Currently I'm working as part time lecturer at UTM. I only have one class, 4 hours a week. Untill I get my letter of appointment, I will have only that class. My pay would be better than my last job but in terms of the environment, I think my last job is better.

Life & license:

Because I was so busy last year, I did not even realize my KPP had expired that when I went to myeg to take the test, they told me I could not do so, that I have to through the class AGAIN so I can take the test. 5 hours in the class listening to everything about car etc AGAIN? Yes! Last time I fell asleep during the class but last Saturday I managed it without even closing my eyes, alhamdulillah. Thanks to the enough sleep that Allah put me into nowadays. So I pray that I will pass the test this Wednesday. I really need driving license now. More to need than greed cause working in UTM now, what if my father is not around? We have car but I cannot drive legally. So may Allah makes it easy this time around.

Life and Fandom:

It was a war I tell you, a war. During DBSK's comeback, all I see is war between JYJ and HoMin fans. Well, one could never satisfied another one.

Life & Friends:

Married friends. ISMA friends. IKRAM friends.... I wish so hard that we could all stay peacefully under Allah's guidance without having to fight over this. Yes true, I'm lacking on this matter but still, isn't it the right thing to do, to be united? I pity those who want to get married to a certain girl but could not do so because of this IKRAM-ISMA restrain. May Allah show us the way, the righteous path so we will be united once again.

Bring it on - the memories

2010-12-01T23:16:00.004+08:00

(Okay I still can't stop listening to 'Shed the tears')

I got this from Jasmine's wall posted by Kak Nani I think

In December, change your profile picture to an image of a character from the comics, cartoons, or a toy from your childhood and invite your friends to do the same. The goal? To not see a real face on "Facebook" but rather to flood the site with childhood memories. Give it a try! :) Jom kawan2, tunggu apa lagi ^^!

So what's mine? What is the cartoon character that I grow up with?

Yes, Barney!
I grow up with this purple, friendly dinosaur. Barney is a significant character for me. No, I have no plan to big nor purple but how I learn English unconsciously through this TV show when I was 6 up until now. I still watch Barney (I bought the DVD), I sing along to the songs only I upgraded my choice in music.

The kid in me... It never cease to fade.

Obligatory Wednesday morning blabbering

2010-12-01T08:38:00.002+08:00

This morning was Carling Cup's quater final with Man U going against West Ham. It was purely an accident that my brother and I saw the schedule. We just had our early morning coffee and sat down in front of the TV to chat and watch whatever that was on TV (which I always, if the remote ended up in my hand, change to these channels: 612,613,614 & 391)

So back to the game....

How disappointing it was to lost 0-5 to West Ham??? (news report was 0-4) It was also an embarrassment considering we won 7-1 to Blackburn just last weekend??? Was it due to the snow that fell down during the match? (Masya-Allah it was beautiful btw) Was it because they played at West Ham's field? Whatever the reason was, the match sucked, the result sucked big time. I fell asleep before the final whistle and to be woke up again a seconds after to be sure of the score. Sure enough, it was the same, Man U still lost. Sir Ferguson was seen pissed off with the players performance on field. At first he sat down full of patient but he stood up during the second half and he rarely did that because the time one can see Sir Alex stands up is when Man U going against Arsenal or Chelsea, sometimes Liverpool but with Liverpool bad record this season who cares to stand up. Anyway, It almost looks like they are taking the match lightly. Yes, although Carling Cup has never been a priority, isn't it nice for them to win and get into semi and final and win the cup? It will add up the number of trophy and a proof to show Manchester United is the King!

Bah!

So to forget the painful memory, I indulge myself with YT videos. Luckily Kev Jumba just uploaded new videos so there you go. Watch his so-called reality TV with his father here (The video is funny no more question ask)--- okay he is re-uploading it because of some problem. He said it on twitter

and Far East Movement's Rocketeers cannot be taken seriously now because these boys (Kev Jumba, Ryan Higa & Chester See) has been making song from the song! and the lyrics and their face and everything was so funny! Kevin said his lips felt numb after they finished filming because of the fake crying. Pay particular attention to Ryan Higa's comical face. That guy to the win! LOL

Even tough guys cry

LOL!!!

and my senior, Faris sunbae (that's what I call him) said hi on chatbox and share with me this great version of Grenade! as expected, acoustic version is the best! and Bruno Mars's voice is<3

Why can't I love you in slow motion?

2010-11-30T14:03:00.002+08:00

These days, everything is done in a rush.

We eat in a hurry through drive-through.

We drive in a hurry so we reach our destination far more than safely.

We love in rush because we say we too care to be slow.

We wed in a hurry because... well, I don't know. Better ask those who were married.

But don't you think we need to take time in everything that we do?

Put some thought into it.

I enjoy this song

So much about this crazy game they call love
That I'm trying to understand,
So could you be my best friend,
Before you call yourself my man

L.O.S.E.R. and losing the composure

2010-11-30T02:47:00.005+08:00

Loser

Kau tahu macam mana?

Macam kau!

harapkan cinta orang yang tak datang.

Rindukan orang yang tak pernah pandang kau

Kau loser kau tahu?

Kau bercinta sebelum tiba masa

lalu kau meraung satu dunia tika cinta putus di tengah jalan.

Kau menyesal si dia tinggalkan kau kerana perempuan lain

jadi kau berubah untuk jadi macam dia

dan kau pun jadi loser lagi

dan lagi

Loser

adalah apa yang aku nak cakap pada kau

grow up and get life

jangan kejarkan dia sebab dia yang pilih nak tinggalkan kau.

Kenapa kau kejarkan dia macam loser?

dia loser!

bagus dia tinggalkan kau sebab kau layak dapat yang lagi baik!

Tolonglah jangan malukan wanita.

Kau lupa kau ada ALLAH???

sampai hati kau belakangkan Tuhan disebabkan lelaki yang tak pernah kesah nak sembahyang.

sanggup kau lupakan DIA sebab lelaki yang hanya tahu nak rosakkan engkau tu?

Kau bodoh!

Kau loser!

Ya Allah, bantulah kawanku ini!

Penat aku berbual tapi kau tetap cakap fasal dia.

LOSER.

Tolonglah!

Tolonglah untuk tolong diri sendiri sebab takda sape akan ubah kau kalau kau sendiri tak nak berubah.

Beware of what you say!

2010-11-30T00:12:00.005+08:00

STOP THIS NONSENSE!!!!

Facebook was fun. When it was pure. Just me, my family, my best friends, my school friends and my TESL friends. It was fun...

Until it was invaded by unnecessary post by Hidayah students. Most of their post tend to piss me off (eg: pegi McD!Kan da faham fasal Palestine? Kan dah faham fasal boikot?) Nowadays I even put my chat box on off line mode because I could not stand being seen visible. One student will always said hi and in the end blabbering about nonsense. And because I could not stand that student, I eventually removed him from my Friend List. Easy right? And my radar of removing people nowadays keeps on growing as I read rude comments from them. Hidayah students and so much for civilized manners! Qiyadah are the same! Kutuk sana-sini. Hidayah! Give me a break! My Teknik students know about manner more than you do! They respect me no matter what and they even greet me nicely when in MySpace and FB. They still regard me as their teacher even when I gila-gile dengan mereka but my EX-SCHOOL??? The STUDENTS??? an embarrassing to the school seriously!

Some are always get carried away with jokes and say rude stuff and I have to remind them over and over again that I am their teacher and elder so they still need to regard me as one no matter what.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy having nonsensical talk with them but yes, there is a boundary they need to recognize. And I am glad to announce that Irsyad and Ezzat still understand that perfectly well and that is why I like to do all the merepek things with them along side a few other girls (and gladly banat sangat2 hormat no matter what! Banat mmg PALING BEST!) (but this does not mean I am not cautious with whatever you guys said!)

And right now I am monitoring one boy. One more mistake from him, that's it, out of my list, annyong goodbye adios ada aku kesah =)

Usah

2010-11-19T17:58:00.001+08:00

Maaf students, jangan perasan kalau aku suka melayan kau. Aku hanya anggap kau adik. Jangan la perasan sangat. Wajar mintak pelempang kan?

Hai dugaan guru muda (mudakah??? Aku pun naik bot yg sama la kalau macam tu)

Astaghfirullah! Turn to Allah, he will always guide you Mawa---♥

Indah aku untuk mu

2010-11-19T17:54:00.003+08:00

Via IluvIslam.com

Dengan nama Allah... sebaik-baik Pemberi Ganjaran.
Namamukah yang tertulis di luh mahfuz sana?
Engkaukah yang bakal menemaniku jalan menuju syurga?
Dirimukah yang akan melengkapkan separuh dari agamaku?
Aduhai pria.
Adakah kau yang tercipta untukku?
Jawab pertanyaanku ini.
Jawab!
Kau takkan pernah dapat memberi jawapan,
Kerna jawapannya bukan di tanganmu,
Tetapi di tangan-Nya.
Di tangan Tuhan kita; Allah,
Tuhanku dan Tuhanmu.
Gelisahku memikirkan dirimu,
Dan ketakutanku memikirkan Tuhanku,
Aduhai pria,
Maafkan aku,
Ketakutanku pada Tuhanku melebihi kegelisahanku memikirkanmu.
Jemput diriku pabila waktunya tiba,
Sebelum sampai saat itu, biarkan aku sendiri bersama Si Dia,
Akan kucipta cinta bersama Dia,
Sebelum kucipta cinta antara kita.
Jadilah dirimu kumbang yang hebat,
Dan doakan aku agar menjadi bunga yang mekar,
Untuk itu, Aku tinggalkan dirimu pada-Nya
Sesungguhnya aku bertawakkal kepada Allah Tuhanku dan Tuhanmu,
Tidak ada suatu binatang melata melainkan Dia-lah yang memegang ubun-ubunnya,
Sesungguhnya Tuhanku di atas jalan yang lurus.
Usah bersedih atas perpisahan sementara ini,
Jika benar aku tercipta untukmu,
Tiada apa yang dapat menghalangnya,
Sebelum saat itu tiba,
Berdoalah pada Allah moga diberi kekuatan,
Mohonlah padanya dengan penuh mengharap.
Yakinlah pada janji Allah!
Wanita-wanita yang keji adalah untuk laki-laki yang keji, dan laki-laki yang keji adalah buat wanita-wanita yang keji (pula), dan wanita-wanita yang baik adalah untuk laki-laki yang baik dan laki-laki yang baik adalah untuk wanita-wanita yang baik (pula). Mereka (yang dituduh) itu bersih dari apa yang dituduhkan oleh mereka (yang menuduh itu). Bagi mereka ampunan dan rezki yang mulia (surga) [Surah An Nur: 26]
Sesungguhnya Allah takkan pernah mensia-siakan pengorbananmu,
Bilamana kita tinggalkan semua ini kerana Allah semata,
Yakinlah!
Akan ada sesuatu yang indah untukmu di pengakhiran nanti.
Dan sesungguhnya hari kemudian itu lebih baik bagimu,
Daripada yang sekarang (permulaan),
Dan kelak Tuhanmu pasti memberikan karunia-Nya kepadamu ,
Lalu (hati) kamu menjadi puas.
[Surah Ad dhuha: 4 & 5]
Beruntunglah kamu!
Tatkala Allah memilihmu untuk menyedari hakikat perhubungan antara lelaki dan wanita
Allah memilihmu!
Jangan pernah sia-siakan kasih sayang Allah ini.
Maka Allah mengilhamkan kepada jiwa itu (jalan) kefasikan dan ketakwaannya
Sesungguhnya beruntunglah orang yang mensucikan jiwa itu
Dan sesungguhnya merugilah orang yang mengotorinya
[Surah As Syams: 8-10]
Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang mengatakan:
"Tuhan kami ialah Allah" kemudian mereka meneguhkan pendirian mereka,
Maka malaikat akan turun kepada mereka dengan mengatakan:
"Janganlah kamu takut dan janganlah merasa sedih;
dan gembirakanlah mereka dengan jannah yang telah dijanjikan Allah kepadamu
[Surah Fussilat: 30]
Dan tika kamu merasa lemah,
Mohonlah kekuatan dari-Nya,
Allah itu dekat,
Yakin pasti.
Dan jika syaitan mengganggumu dengan suatu gangguan,
Maka mohonlah perlindungan kepada Allah,
Sesungguhnya Dia-lah yang Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Mengetahui. [Surah Fussilat: 36]
Kamu dan aku adalah intan terpilih,
Berdoalah aku kuat dan tabah untuk menjaga kilauanku,
Berdoalah tiada sang kumbang durjana merosakkannya sebelum yang halal tiba,
Aku juga sentiasa mendoakanmu agar dalam peliharanya,
Sentiasa.

Untuk Baizura & 'Ammar Taqiyuddin, Selamat Melayari Bahtera Perkahwinan =)

(okay obviously curi kat FB ^^)

You and I and goodbye

2010-11-19T17:43:00.004+08:00

in memory....

Slowly but surely I will leave everything behind. Nowadays, I rarely update myself with the happening of k-pop. I want to but I just don't want to. I know I am contradicting myself now. I guess my parents prayer will be answered very very soon.

Just for the last time, I will be there. One last time. A goodbye because that will be a sweet memory and also a regrettable one.

Thank you for being there, make me happy and make me sad. Make me confuse and make me wanna fight. You are sure my unforgettable memory

A painstaking memories and a lovely ones, I will hold it dearly in my heart ---♥

Writing

2010-10-28T14:55:00.003+08:00

I write less this year.... I figure that.

What so LOL about this post? =)

Happiness in the Basket

2010-10-28T14:27:00.003+08:00

Pretty weird title I figure.

This week was a happy+worry week for me. I was asked by mak to take care of my grandma whom was admitted to hospital. At first it was decided that Balqis will do it however Allah is the greatest planner. We only plan but in the end Allah plans other thing which is even better. Balqis told my mum (in that annoying sulky face of her) that she wants to go to school on Monday and she will take care of my grandma on Tuesday onwards. So didn't want to argue further just burst in to my room and ask me if I can take care of my grandma. Without even thinking I said okay and start packing up my stuff.

So I went to hospital and I was glad to learn that grandma was placed in the first class ward which means aircond and privacy. Staying in the hospital, I learn a lot. I learn how to take care of grandma better, how to be thankful with that health that Allah gave us and must must must take care of your health.

My grandma went for eyes surgery to remove the coting that covers her eyes caused by diabetes. she also had a contact lense implant so she could see better than before.

Alhamdulillah everything went on smoothly. She was inside the operation theater for two hours and a half. Yup, I was counting because I was sickly worried.

For the first time ever, being away from internet gave me tranquility. For four days straight without even trying to look out for it. Being an internet addict, even a few hours away from internet makes me insane but Alhamdulillah, a few days and I still alive.

And when I came back, the situation is much better when I learn Jonghyun (Shinee, not my dearest in CNBLUE) is dating Shin Se Kyung (So happy that for the first time, someone in SM can openly tells about his dating life without even caring about those stupid netizens. Honestly even Kangta is still single. Way to go JongKyung!And now I heard something about Taec and Sica. Nyahahaha~) and listening to SNSD's new mini Album (and waiting for the MV release starring the ever religious Siwon훗, 훗~)

Okay, nonsensical talk is so not to be done here. I leave it at that. Going to spazz somewhere else about that.

네 화살은 trouble, trouble, trouble

훗, 훗, 훗~

someday

2010-10-23T14:49:00.002+08:00

Someday when I am 25, I will ask myself, how does it feels like to be 23 because right now I ask myseld how does it feels like to be 16 when I saw my students hanging out, talking and laughing with their friends.

No problem, nothing bothering them.

they don't have to think about what to teach each day nor do they have to be worried if they did something wrong because no one will judge them.

I just realized when I am mixing with people that working is a pressure especially when you get to work with the very wrong person.

It's not that stressful but they tend to put their stress on to others and blaming their environment instead of themselves and THAT makes me stress. I mean, come on people, you are older than me, can't you think rationally?

Oh yeah, they don't have it. No wonder they are acting so weird, even when they are a grown ups.

Someday when I'm married, I will ask myself, how does it feel to be single? Because right now I feel weird watching people around my age got married and have husband. The beauty of marriage is that it will gives you tranquility but what if my tranquility will not involve marriage?

^_^

Someday when I am big and mature enough, I will ask ask myself how do I act childish because right now I am just being childish and mature but never too mature and never too big.

Bottom line is....

Hey Mawaddah, try to be thankful with what you own and have because someday you might lose this feelings so keep it while it's there.

Oh! Drama=)

2010-10-06T16:44:00.004+08:00

Drama F4 dijalankan masa PMR. Penggunaan Dewan Qadisiyyah rupanya dilarang. Mana aku tahu, aku main hentam. Kecewa pada awalnya. Backdrop da lawa, railway da smart, baju mereka jangan cakap, memang mantap. Diakhirnya, masalh timbul.

Banat bising di musolla sedang ada calon khas di 2 Taqwa. Banin bising di dewan sedang ada calon khas di dewan Taqwa.

Orang mengadu. Kak Dira datang cari aku. Kesian Kak Dira penat lari-lari. Aku pun turut berlari mencari penyelesaian.

Tak, mereka tak marah tapi aku kecewa. Students prepare da macam apa, last-last, tak jadi juga. Jadi sekarang macam mana?

Zahier nampak aku hampir menangis. Bukan tunjuk lemah tapi kecewa tahap parah. Lagi pula dia tu da macam adik lebih dari macam students. Jadi tak lah malu mana (sedang dia pun da pernah menangis depan aku)

Zahier kata sabar, dia tolong panggilkan. Alhamdulillah

Aku tak dapat fikir. Kepala serabut segala.

Aku tarik nafas. istighfar. Mungkin ini ujian.

Aku penat dah.

Kak Net datang pujuk. Kak Keena jenguk sejukkan hati. Aku bersyukur ada teman memahami.

kepada students aku datangi, minta maaf dari hati.

Okay, 11.30am kita mulai, PMR dah habis masa tu.

Tunggu

Irsyad dan Ziyaadi mencari. Katanya Ustah Rashidah mengamuk, izin tak diberi.

Pelik, bukan da minta ke izin? MT kan Matematik? Matematik 4 Ittihad kan Mak yang ajar?

Tak larat, janji. Akhirnya, semua aku batalkan. Kepada 4 Ittihad, aku mohon maaf, tak dapat buat hari ini. Mungkin lain kali.

4 Imtithal teruskan. Aku berlari lagi mencari Ustazah Rashidah, mohon maaf. Rupanya berlaku khilaf, MT dalam jadual ialah Matematik Tambahan. Manalah aku tahu...

Aduh ujian lagi. Istighfar makin banyak, minta Allah ampuni diri.

Hampir stress, elak jadi calon khas PMR saje.

Namun Imtithal sangat sporting, janji! Lakonan mereka, taklah mantap namun menghiburkan hati. Tengok Taufiq pakai dress la yang paling menggeletek hati.

Alhamdulillah semuanya berjalan lancar.

Kepada Students 4 Imtithal, tahniah diatas kesabaran anda.

Kepada 4 Ittihad, terima kasih di atas kesabaran anda.

Ana sangat bahagia jadi Guru Batch kepada Batch 13 =)

Veil - The lady who wants to cover well

2010-10-05T10:53:00.005+08:00

It's hot...
seriously...

Because I am wearing two headpieces.... Oh wait, three

scarf and 2 thin hijab that equals to one hijab.

I am down with cold and now I am feeling a bit mess because of these two hijab. But I have no choice. the outer hijab seems to be kind of thin. So avoid someone touching my neck while goes "ni nipis ni, kenapa tak pakai alas?", I'd rather wear two and prepare myself for the hot weather.

Oh Allah, why is it hard for me to do it sincerely? Aren't neck area is supposed to be covered and that goes without saying?

It's not like I will die....

I am fighting with myself and this really affect my mood. I don't to walk much but I had to go to SRIH just now.... Ujian

I don't want to talk much and suddenly people come to me and ask a lot of thing.

I want to stay at my place only but this jubah is bothering me because it's long.

Oh Allah, forgive my sin...

O Children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves (screen your private parts, etc.) and as an adornment, and the raiment of righteousness, that is better. Such are among the Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allâh, that they may remember (i.e. leave falsehood and follow truth). (Al-'Araf 7:26)

Reminding myself is I ever forget

"Rasulullah (SAW) said: Two are the types of the denizens of Hell whom I did not see: people having flogs like the tails of the ox with them and they would be beating people, and the women who would be dressed but appear to be naked, who would be inclined (to evil) and made their husbands incline towards it. Their heads would be like the humps of the bukht camel inclined to one side. They will not enter Paradise and they would not smell its odour whereas it odour would be smelt from such and such distance."

and hijab is not a choice Mawaddah, it compulsory, an obligation, the way to Allah's paradise

This girl has officially graduated

2010-09-29T15:49:00.004+08:00

Just like that...

Alhamdulillah

Funny story behind all this.

I managed to get my convo heels a night before the convocation itslef because I was searching for the right shoes inside my wordrobe but it was just too bad I don't own the right shoes. I have 8 heels but none fit the specification for the event, fully covered shoes. So in the end, I asked Mak to drive me to Jusco Tmn U and I managed to get the shoes, very nice heels.

Or is was just my excuse of buying new heels.

Anyway about the baju kurung, mine was not extravaganza at all. A simple vicous cotton that is really comfortable to wear. I was planning to but this very very beautiful all-white jubah. But the my hope was crashed when Put and Falah told me that they are not allowing all-white attire. Too Bad then. Thanks to them I have saved 250. But still I want to buy it. But not now but I will.

Or it's just my way of owning more jubah.

Can I keep my convo Jubah then? ^_^

Thanks mak, bapak, besties, teslians in general for the moral support.

and the most important....

THANK YOU Allah for your love and grace.

Because He loves me

2010-09-27T12:46:00.006+08:00

and I want to thank You Allah for Your love that knows no boundaries....

Last Saturday, I went o Seremban with my mum and siblings. With a little time that we had, Alhamdulillah I managed to go to Pearl Haya, a brand of trendy muslimah Hijab that I have been planning to buy after seeing my aunts wore it. ThoughbI know it's expensive, might cause me arm and leg... well not to that extend but you know what I mean. Plus wearing this kind ofhijab I believe it'll make my life so easy since I am not a big fan of ironing clothes.

So my aunt drove us to Pearl Haya (that 'us' include me, my mum, Umar, Muhsin and my three other cousin). As I went inside the boutique, I saw a lot of eye-catching hijab. Very trendy, very nice, very sweet, just how I like it.

Soon, I found myself trying out a few. My mum was there but she was there not to buy but to inspect what I'm going to buy. I took a few. But my mum was shaking her head, her language of saying no.

Honestly, in my opinion, the hijab already follow the syariah. Throughout my life, I never wear my tudung above chest level. But mum has another thing in her mind. I was debating with her saying this is good but she still said no. So I asked the salesgirl if she had something bigger than this. So she showed me the Umrah tudung with the size of P11. But the thing is that one is custom made, no ready stock. I have to order and wait a few weeks before I get it.

The waiting.....

"Kalau nak beli biarlah yang betul-betul menutup. Bukan cukup2 makan je" My mum said.

It really hurts my feelings. So in the end, with a very heavy heart, I ordered two P11 size. Deep inside, I still have sincerity in doing that because P11 plus custom made plus the waiting cost me more the 150 for one tudung.

For almost 24 hours whenever I reminded by that, I will be in a bad mood and feels like not talking to my mum.

Astaghfirullah....

But then, Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Allah loves me... I had the instinct to continue reading the book 'Agar Bidadari Cemburu Padamu' where I left it. This morning, I happened to read this Ayah from Quran that was shared in the book

. O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e.screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allâh is Ever OftForgiving, Most Merciful. (Al-Ahzab: 59)

Astaghfirullah....

I am such a bad daughter for ignoring my mum's concern. She told me that the extra charge I was paying is my extra effort to book Allah's Jannah. Astagfirullah...

Thank you mum, thank you for reminding me aboout Jannah and Hell.

Thank You Allah for giving me such a great mum. Alhamdulillah I am a Muslimah!

And alhamdulilah, Allah still loves me despite how sinful I am...

I was so far from you
Yet to me you were always so close
I wandered lost in the dark
I closed my eyes toward the signs
You put in my way
I walked everyday
Further and further away from you
Ooooo Allah, you brought me home
I thank You with every breath I take.
-Maher Zain, Thank You Allah

A logic of changing

2010-09-16T02:07:00.005+08:00

bukan pandai main pun, placing je lebih. But practice makes perfect, no? =)

Eid?

Great, except for the fighting part, emm not so great ^_^ But that is only natural right? Who likes to fight?

and after I started working, with that salary, Alhamdulillah Allah gave me the opportunity to make little kids happy. This year, I give rather than receiving. I am happy but that also means I am growing old. But hey, age is just a number right. But still, the number that matters. Students, do you want duit raya yang tak banyak mana ni? Do come, eat something, tell me you are sorry and then, there you have it, duit raya^_^

Bowling...

Honestly, my family has been in to this sport for the past 10 years but I haven't found the right port in this game. Emak, Bapak, Ammar, Nina, Amni, Balqis, Muhsin and Umar are good bowler. I thought I suck that was the reason why i held myself from playing this sport. But during Ramadhan, I think I found my love in this sport. I just discovered, even when, yes I suck, i can play and it was not that bad after all. Can I laugh HAHAHA for discovering this talent? Nah, I just gave myself a pat on the back. Congrats Mawa, you are so smart (let me be, I am convincing myself)

days?

Goes like normal, like usual. Morning with shout form mum trying to shake me off my bed. She succeed of course. We are talking the power of my mum's voice here. I need to start key in marks for 4 Imtithal.

Heart?

Lately shaken. By prayers of whom I wonder. Like a hurricane. I am still praying for my own good but what i thought is my own good sometimes is not good for me after all right? Allah has stated that in Quran. Allah knows better. I pray, doa. He knows what's best for me so i'm praying for what He thinks is the best for me.

I have the logic of changing...

p/s: Wanie - I've read your comments but I just smile and nod. You know sometimes I lack of words too! hehehe

I just haven't met you yet

2010-09-14T02:33:00.002+08:00

True that.

Because of eid, meeting family is a must.

and because the increasing of age, one question is expected though asked in thousands different ways.

"kakak da ada boy?"

"kakak bile?"

"datang ni kosong je ke bawa jemputan?"

"da ada mat?"

"mana yang sulung? da kawin ke?"

haish... Can I stay single for as long as I like?

I like it like this.

No responsibilities...

My dad told me the only way for to be a responsible person is through marriage which I declined and rebutted.

I hate ironing my own clothes and after marriage I have to iron his?

I don't even fix my own breakfast and after marriage I have to fix for his?

I love eating spicy foods

I hate staying away from family though often times I fight with my little sister

I love internet

I hate math

The only answer I have right now is

I just haven't met him yet.

and I know I will not meet him for the next few years (hopefully=] if Allah decides that way)

So Prince Charming, I am not ready yet so don't come out now. I am no damsel in distress, the opposite to be exact^_^

Marry....

2010-09-14T01:35:00.003+08:00

Although I am famous for being one who is not into the idea of marriage (Insya-Allah for now) but I read this from a blog belongs to a friend of mine. I read it with interest.

Sweet and sour. For those who afraid their purpose will be rejected, try these. Good luck! (a.k.a. What a muslim guy would say to a girl he really likes because of Allah)

1. Marry me so I don't have to lower my gaze every time you walk into the room. (mawa: sweet right?)

2. Would you like to help me wake you up for Subuh prayer? (mawa: I need help=])

3. Girl, when I saw you I said masha-Allah, then I said insha-Allah.

4. Are your feet tired? Because you've been performing Tawaaf in my mind all day long. (mawa: I hope he is not like this=/ He would scare me otherwise because sorry to say, this sounds like a pervert)

5. How would you like to help me fulfill half of my deen?

6. You are the reason hijab was mandated. (mawa: ....me? like seriously?)

7. Allah created everything in pairs, so what are you doing single? (mawa:.... I have a lot to say but I let this one pass)

8. I'd like to be more than just your brother in Islam. (mawa: I could never be your brother because I'm a girl)

9. Do you believe in the hereafter? Oh you do? Then you know what I'm here after.. (mawa: Oh yes I do believe in hereafter but I just don't get the meaning of the second sentence...)

10. Girl you put the fit in fitna. (mawa: that sounds sexism, frankly speaking)

I don't speak much, real life wise but I tend to write up a lot.

Eid Mubarak to all my readers, especially the one who tells on my father about every update on my blog. Thank you for doing him the favor, Minal Aidi wal faizin=)

Like a child

2010-08-31T20:48:00.004+08:00

I was 12 until I was 21...

28102010
I saw that person again
The one person who made my heart flutters 5 years ago.
I thought I was letting go.
I thought I would be okay if I ever saw that person again
Yet the feeling of wanting to hide and never to see that person again came in to me naturally.
I was avoiding again.
Not noticing but that was what I did.

I am not proud of that.
That stupid feeling, I'd keep it to myself.
The first time I ever spoken about it openly...

I don't care if you want to judge me over my stupid crush.
That person was just a stupid crush.
I will never be with that person and that person will never know I HAD a crush on that person.

The good guy, he'll never notice me.

Not meant to be ^_^

Funny how all dreams come true

2010-07-27T15:13:00.003+08:00

To tell you the truth, I was hoping to see this. Even when I was filling up the form, I did it half-heartedly, like I was not meant for it. I'd rather stay here. Heck,I want to stay here. This is where my heart, home, family, the paradise of the world is.

I was advised to call KPM but still I feel that what's done is done. I was not pick and this is what I want so I should be thankful to Allah.

How do I really feel right now?

A post dedicated to my Jasmine

2010-07-26T00:20:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

Jas, no matter what happened, you know I'll be by your side. You family needs you and I know this will make you have a better living.

and remember, ask from Allag for any hardship and happiness you have. He will never neglect you and will always be there for you as long as you ask.

Love you my dear soul sister♥

Kau faham tak?

2010-07-23T09:18:00.002+08:00

Kau faham tak bila orang tak nak jumpa?

yang da sudah tu sudah la!

Yang dah lepas tu, dah la!

Tak usah nak cari-cari untuk bincang sebab tak de apa-apa dah nak dibincangkan.

Nak kawan? Tak payah la! Aku tak ingin la ada kawan macam engkau.

Kau pun mesti tak nak ada kawan macam aku.

Aku memang tak suka sangat pun kawan dengan lelaki ni.

Tak penting.

Dah la. Kau sejarah buruk aku. Aku sejarah buruk engkau, end of story kan?

Apa la masalah engkau ni?

Tu la, lain kali ada problem, console dengan orang tua, bukan buat tindakan sendiri.

Fikir guna akal. Kita ni manusia, bukan monyet.

On life and oh!

2010-07-01T13:11:00.003+08:00

It's been such a long time since I last update my blog. It's not that I am busy during my first week of working but it was due to pure laziness. I swear I am everywhere in here. Internet is after all my 'husband' that I want to take care of and fall in love with until I find it hard to look at any other things anymore.... Okay that was full of exaggeration. Well, you know what I mean.

The first 2 weeks, I had to watch over the exams class. Went in and out of the classes, put on my most serious face I have/own. Then during the holiday, I practice with choral speaking girls for Musleh's Carnival (and Hidayah won the best team although we lose at Choral Speaking).

Day in day out, I have been here for a month. I gained experience of working and best of all I think I learn a lot more about myself. Working is tiring but how do I managed myself from getting extremely fatigue is the other thing.

Trust me, for working here for 2 months, I have work on things that only expereinece teacher would gain. I trained a choral speaking which I never even did before, I became a debate teacher, something that I could do well when I am quarrellings with Balqis, Library teacher though I rarely read nowadays. But then again experiance is the best teacher, right?

and to people who asked why I look fat, in the defense of myself for once I am not fat. I just gained weight. If there is something wrong with gaining weight and have a plump cheeks (that do not drown my dimple) then I guess you just have to deal with yourself, people. I am happy with my life. Stop destroying this life. And just for the record, I am glad I am still single^_^

Tahniah

2010-06-07T18:46:00.003+08:00

Seorang lagi kawan lama yang sudah selamat menjadi isteri. Tahniah buat Nurliyana Sulaiman. Agak kesal tak dapat hadir kerana menghadiri jemputan yang lebig afdhal bak kata mak di Terengganu. Moga Tanggungjawab dapat digalas dengan baik.

Ha siapa lagi lepas ni? Nak doakan yang terbaik untuk kalian. 3 dah bertunang. Lagi? Batch kite ada lebih kurang 60 orang.

Sekarang sedang menanti kelahiran anak Ayu aka Zahurahani. Dapat jadi auntie Mawa tak lama lagi=)

Malam ni ada dinner walimah senior sekolah, Salman Hishamuddin pula.

Kembali ke Bumi Hidayah

2010-05-30T23:57:00.003+08:00

Dan sangat senang hati untuk berbuat demikian=)

Walaupun orang kata, "malu la nak datang sekolah"

walaupun ada orang berjanji "Lepas amik keputusan SPM, aku takkan datang lagi"

Walaupun ada yang menyebut "Takde sebab la nak datang sekolah"

Tapi tidak bagi ku.

Kembali berkhidmat di bumi Hidayah sudah menjadi satu matlamat. Gajinya mungkin tak setinggi gaji kerajaan tapi suasananya takkan dapat jumpa di sekolah kerajaan. Kite bole bentang sejadah kat bilik guru untuk buat solat sunat Ishra' dan Dhuha dan takkan ada sesiapa pandang kita pelik kerana ibadah dalah suatu perkara biasa. Sambil-sambil tunggu kelas, tengah takde kerja, bukak Quran dan baca, takkan ada orang datang cakap "Eh alimnye dia". Sangat bebas dan selesa melakukan kebaikan.

Walaupun tahu iman ini taklah semantap mana tapi ini juga boleh menjadi proses tarbiah buat diri sendiri. Alhamdulillah, bersyukur pada Allah atas ruang dan peluang yang Dia kurniakan. Ini bagiku adalah satu cara membalas jasa baik guru-guru yang telah mendidik aku satu ketika dahulu.

Ada juga suara sinis mengatakan aku tak layak. Namun Allah tetapkan aku berada disini makanya aku rasakan ia adalah peluang terbaik bagiku membaiki diri.

Alhamdulillah atas nikmat, alhamdulillah atas segalanya.

Andai tiada perkara menghalang, aku bercadang untuk teruskan berkerja di Hidayah sehabis tamat kontrak 5 tahun ku di sekolah kerajaan. Moga segala urusan yang baik itu Allah permudahkan=)

Dear Putri=)

2010-04-22T23:09:00.001+08:00

(Bay Memories, 2008)

Dear Putri Mubina Sujak,

Happy Birthday! I really adore you for your hardwork, your coolness and to be counted as one of your best friend, it such an honor^^

♥~

To Falah...

2010-04-16T00:00:00.004+08:00

(click for full size)

Happy Birthday! I don't have money to splurge to buy you something expensive, nor do I have time to make something extra spacial for your birthday.

I am sorry. But I did something^^

Enjoy the (LQ) video (read the description for you to know why it is so LQ)

Happy birthday my dear besties Falah!

너에게 미쳤었다

2010-04-12T01:48:00.006+08:00

I don't want to stay another minute
I don't want you to say a single word
hush hush hush hush
There is no other way
I got the final say

PCD's Hush Hush cause I am seriously tired of people asking me on my every pimple there are on my face. If killing is legal, I would kill each and everyone who asked me of it. Or better yet, I ask them RM5 when they ask "kenapa muka kakak makin teruk?" cause explanation is tiring.

So today I went to SMIH's ihtifal and I helped out my mum on her food selling. It wasn't that tiring because I enjoy the company of little Nadia Hishamuddin. She is so bubbly that I really enjoy her company. She also bought me ice-blended. Thank you Nadiah=)

But the tiring starts to hit on me when my family and I went to my grandparent's house for a visit. Everybody, all my uncles and aunties start to gather around and attack me on how and why do I get so many pimples on my face.

So how do you reckon i handle the situation? Do I need to tell them that I spent 4 hours straight thinking and analyzing data for my PSM's Chapter 4, non stop? Or do I tell them that I had spent too many hours on the bed after I am done with my PSM? or do you think I need to tell them the wee hours I spent on the table studying?

The answer, none of the above. As rude as I may seem to be, I went up to my grandma's room and went straight to the bed

The thing is, I am very much comfortable in my own body.Be it if I am fat otr thin or my face have no pimples or it has a lot, it's MY BODY! It's sad when they only acknowledge outer appearance as compared to inner beauty.and It's evenmore sad to acknowledge that meeting families has been an upsetting event for me lately (an exception to nucleas family). And I am bloody mad with the boyfriend talk. I have told them for the 943854398543754856929834832752485 times that I HAVE NO INTEREST IN HAVING BOYFRIEND yet everytime I went online, facebooking to be exact, my auntie will open the chatbox and started bombarding me with speculation saying things like;

"ha, kakak buat ape online ni? Chat dengan boyfriend eh?" Habes, kalo takde boyfriend tak leh online la?

"Kakak chat dengan sape tu?" dengan Donghae

"Kakak ni bile nak ada boyfriend? Umur da berapa ni" Mak pun tak kesah, asal ek orang lain yang sibuk??!

"Takkan la kat utm tu xde lelaki yang kakak nak?"How many languages can you say "none of your business" in? Orang datang sini nak study, as decent and lying as that might sound, I have no time to went out and socialize. That's not me!

The pain of being a human is when people start to compare you with another human being that you are not very fond of. Detest!

But then i realize, every single thing is a test from Allah. To be happy is a test, to be sad is a test. And I know the reason why I'm facing this is because Allah loves me. I am happy to know that fact. So Mawa, be strong! Allah is by your side. I'm pleading to Him that this sadness will go away, this madness will be wiped out and this hatred will be gone. They are my family anyway and no matter what happen I still love them.

(Not so) Little Sleepyhead Mawa

2010-04-10T00:36:00.005+08:00

Seriously guys!!!! It's has worsen day by day!

I am, almost, all the time sleepy.

This is how my life go on the day when I have no paper; I got up early, approximately at 5am everyday and around 8am I found myself nuzzling and cuddling my pillow under my purple blanket. I woke up at around 2pm and feel sleepy while doing my work or studying, I will put my head on the table for awhile and then I went into slumber. Because, of course sleeping at table is not nice so I will crawl back on my bed, spreading my blanket that I have folded and yes, sleep again. Nowadays, rain will starts to pour at 4pm together with thunder and lighting. Honestly I want to wake up but then if I ever did, I can't even switch on my laptop so, with no guilt, I continue to sleep. I will wake up at, usually, 9pm and go down to buy dinner, take bath, some reading and I will start to yawn again around 1.30am. I'm still sleepy now. I type this while lying comfortably on my bed. And right after I post this, I will go back to sleep with SeoHwa's couple dream (been dreaming about them for the past 3 days).

I have no hope for MBC since they started the strike. It's just so frustrating!

And I might or might not go to back tomorrow.

p/s: To Falah, sorry there was something wrong with my phone so my phone was bombarded with message when I woke because there was something wrong with the phone.

p/s2: to Farah and Putri, be careful other people's place! Put, take a very good care of our little Princess!=)

p/s3: Farah-ssi, good luck with ILETS!

Try to follow me

2010-04-08T19:40:00.002+08:00

That was a song actually, the title that was.

Okay about this whole following stuff, I don't want to make my sidebar crowded with so many things because I like to keep it simple (even with everything that I have on my sidebar right now are too much I think). So as you can see, I don't have a blog list. So instead of having a blog list, I will follow your blog. How does that sound? tempting huh? So if I do follow yours, I have a better suggestion, why don't you try to follow me back? The key word here is not 'try' but 'follow', it's kind of asking but at the same time forcing=)

Okay? Okay!

Spare Me the Sermon On Muslim Women

2010-04-08T03:24:00.003+08:00

This is like the best article I read this whole week (not counting Quran because Quran is the best book throughout this life and hereafter)

The best thing about being a muslim woman

It irks me that I even have to say this: Being a Muslim woman is a joyful thing.

Blessings abound for me as a Muslim woman: The freshness of ablution is mine, and the daily meditation zone of five prayers that involve graceful, yoga-like movements, performed in prayer attire. Prayer scarves are a chapter in themselves, cool and comforting as bedsheets. They lie folded in the velveteen prayer rug when not in use: two lightweight muslin pieces, the long drapey headcover and the roomy gathered skirt. I fling open the top piece, and it billows like summer laundry, a lace-edged meadow

I am lucky, so lucky because I am a muslimah=) Alhamdulillah. Even I'm a bit naughty, I shall never stray from this path of righteous.

내가 잘못했어

2010-04-08T01:29:00.006+08:00

(he is soooo in love)

For liking you so much....

너무 아름다운 사랑...♥

Losing the composure

2010-04-07T05:15:00.006+08:00

Because I was afraid...

Tadi, masa baru bangun tadi, kena gigit nyamuk. Aduh, memang berbisa lah. Maka tangan ni tak dapat menahan itchiness yang bukan kepalang dan terus mengerakkan jari-jari agar kurang itchiness. Namun, keitchinessan itu tidak mahu pergi. Maka keliahatn tangan ini merah seperti kena cakar.

Tak semena-mena, teringat pada kematian arwah Din Beramboi (Al-Fatihah) yangmati kerana denggi berdarah. Denngan penuh rasa kecuakan, terus google tanda-tanda denggi. hasil bacaan, inilah

tanda-tanda denggi klassikal:

sakit kepala (tidak,alhamdulillah dah lama tak sakit kepala walaupun "demam" PSM), sakit di belakang mata (Tak ada simptom sakit mata), sakit otot dan sendi yang diikuti oleh ruam yang timbul pada hari ketiga hingga keempat (Baru-baru ni mameng ada sakit-sakit tu semua tapi tu sakit perempuan...). Bintik-bintik merah di bawah kulit juga boleh didapati (emm...Takut sebab ni dah ada....). Dan hasil daripada ujian makmal menunjukkan jumlah leukosit dan platlet dalam darah menurun (Ni hari jumaat ni cek).

Demam denggi berdarah

Demam denggi berdarah mempunyai 4 ciri klinikal utama seperti demam yang sangat panas, perdarahan, pembesaran hati dan kegagalan sistem peredaran darah. Perdarahan yang berlaku adalah seperti bintik-bintik merah di bawah kulit, perdarahan hidung, gusi(memang jenis yang berdarah), darah dalam najis - najis berwarna hitam, kencing berdarah dan kadang kala mendapat haid yang berlebihan(....).

Demam denggi berdarah mempunyai tanda-tanda di atas dan juga pendarahan seperti:

l Mudah lebam (Alhamdulillah tak)

l Pendarahan di bawah kulit, pada hidung atau gusi (Yang ni memang dari dulu lagi)

l Ia boleh diikuti dengan pendarahan seluruh badan yang juga membawa maut

Sifat nyamuk Aedes

l Gigitan pada waktu pagi dan senja. (5 pagi - 8 pagi dan 5 petang - 8 malam) - [hak! baru kena tadi, pukul 5:01am.... )

l Bertelur dalam air mati yang jernih.

Confirm la ni, memang kena cek. Pada kawan-kawan yang lain, sila la ambil langkah berjaga-jaga. Sekarang ni bala Allah datang dengan pelbagai cara. Bertaubatlah sebelum terlambat. Dan sudah tentu kata-kata ini ada kena mengena dengan pos di atas.

Banana

2010-04-06T17:16:00.000+08:00

I'm addicted to them...

Not a productive weekend

2010-04-04T19:02:00.004+08:00

Nothing is ever so productive after my VIVA. Funny how I can't seem to do anything. All I did was listening to rock songs. Other than that, there are a few thing that I have been trying to do;

Trying to log in to e-learning which is an utter fail attempt. Any UTM site is best view using UTM's IP address only. Technology much huh?
Trying to finish Dr. Halim's assignment which is another fail attempt. I kept reading but I cannot seems to type the proper question T.T. Oh Allah, free my mind from any distractions, because You know how easy I am to get distracted.

Just now I met my mum and she bought me dinner^^ I haven't eat anything for the whole day except for my herbs pill, innershine drink and healthy drink, nothing too substance. So when mak called me this afternoon, asking me to come down to cafe, I was more than happy to do so. Plus, I got to see Balqis too. She just finished her PMR Ceramah somewhere in UTM so she was there too.

EST tomorrow... Good luck my dear friends^^

(useless post T.T)

LAST: Exam Timetable

2010-04-03T00:53:00.004+08:00

I pray to YOU because all the wiseness belongs to YOU

I pray to YOU, because all the goodness comes from YOU

I pray to YOU because YOU are my Al-Khaliq

I pray to YOU because I am nothing without YOU

and I pray to YOU because YOU are all I have

and I am YOURS Ya ALLAH YA RAHMAN...

TIMETABLE
5 April 2010 EST 9am-11am KTDI

9 April 2010 CALL 2 9am-11am KTDI

13 April 2010 Current Educational Issues 9am-11am KTR

16 April 2010 Testing and Evaluation 9am-11.30am KTHO

21 April 2010 Method of Teaching Science Computer 2.30pm-4.30pm

Other things to take note;

Send in PSM yang sudah berjilid to: Supervisor, Faculty (2 copies)
Before I went back, to send ala chapter 3 to Faculty office for inventory purpose

Insya-Allah, I will finish this with success, bi taufiq wan najah♥

and because I think too much, I indulge myself with "the food of death"

Vye VIVA Vye

2010-04-02T13:55:00.003+08:00

FLY... Fly to the Sky

Finally I had my VIVA today. For all of you who don't what VIVA is, well it's presentation for final year students to present their research. I honestly don't know what does VIVA stands for so if you know, please leave your comment^^

The morning before my presentation, I message everyone that matters to me: My mak, I call bapak, I messaged my bestfriends: Jasmine, Azzat, Falah, Farah, Putri and Salman and not forgetting my supervisor, Dr Masdinah. The content was pretty much the same, asking them to pray for me, so Allah will make it easy for me.

I won't say the presentation went perfectly well. There was a moment when my heart went out and say "I hate you too" but it was only for a second. But all in all, Alhamdulillah I managed to finish it in 1 hour (when the actual time allocated is only 20minutes).

Yesterday was my usrah day. Unlike the usual day where we will have it at one of the collage room but today, well it was the first for me and second for them, we went to P23. Aside from having a good conversation, a tazkirah for the thirsty soul, the scenery was beautiful, well even when the plane is old and green, it still is... unique.

Including a few pictures that I took yesterday=)
(Will edit it later, something went wrong with blogger =/)

EDIT

faceless, not heartless

Ja and I. I like this=)

I jump, you die; Adventurous by nature and I really did jump=)

and I am just going to miss them^^

Kak Raihana giving advice, always useful, always meaningful

Ja the soft spoken girl

Aina, the girl that could brighten up my day with just her smile. Aina has such a nice smile. Her laugh is also contagious=)

Kak Zida, always sweet and I always love to listen when she talks.

Pia always has a story... well stories to tell.

Kak Iken and her cute dimple and her voice too=)

April, you FOOL!

2010-04-01T15:14:00.008+08:00

Today is April Fool day. Yeah, we do not celebrate such event but internationaly, this day is famous with never ending pranks and people pull tricks to one another to end up with "April FOOL!!!!"

yeah, April Fool indeed.

So it happened that I come to realize about the Fool day when I went to my favorite international fansite, sj-world and soshified. These two sites founder (Gaia unnie and Soy) I think has been plotting this. One one side, I think it's pretty relationship that Unnie and Soy brings to different world of fandom together but on the other hand, I almost got heart attack, of course in a nice way. Wow, they really can pull out this kind of prank. This is so much better than last year!

sj-world that has changed to soshi world

soshified that has turned into sujufied

LOL, they even have this "Power of 15" instead of the usual power of 9.

aah! I don't care about people's thought anymore, I write what I want as long as I don't stray from the right path. I am still a good muslim. The only thing that makes us different is that you listen to nasyid only while I listen to more than nasyid. If that is how judge people, based on what they listen to, well... up to you.

As for these two sites, I hope today pass on quickly. But I have my VIVA tomorrow. Nervousness slowly creeping in...T.T. But honestly, I am not nervous at all... I pretend to be nervous so I look normal. Actually, I am not... normal=D.

In a pallid state

2010-03-31T13:32:00.002+08:00

I'm slightly disappointed with things right now…

I know I'm in no position to complaint but my heart truly sank and I feel hurt. I don't know why.

As I listened to Mirotic, it sank deeper, maybe I should not listen to that song.

This sudden feeling of emotion, it's questionable…

Aigoo~

Maybe I need to go out from this room and find something to eat. Maybe I'm just hungry

뱅!

2010-03-30T16:55:00.002+08:00

Yup, Bang! I was supposed to have my VIVA today at 9am. However at around 8.50am I received a phone call from TESL PSM coordinator and she told me I need to postponed my presentation to some other day because:

En. Nasir has yet read my theses – it was my fault. He received it only yesterday.
My second examiner is not around – Dr. Sarimah will come back from UK only tonight along my supervisor Dr. Masdinah

Hence it was postponed. And honestly, I was left a;; heartbroken because I was so ready to do this presentation even when my research is not as great as Putri's but still I really am ready to be all out and present it. Plus if I manage to do it today, I will have one less thing to think about.

But we never know how Allah plans things for us. He is the greatest planner even when we think we have done our best. But not the best. Allah knows better what is the best for me and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I went back to my room, put facial mask and rest. By resting I mean sleeping, till it was three. I was woken up by a loud bang, where the person who responsible to change the curtain bang hard on my door and I was surprised that I screamed "HOI!". Well, I hardly preserve my manner for people who have no manner. They should just knock and ask if there is anyone inside. If they are rude like that, well sorry, no matter how old you are, bragging yourself into a girl's single room is consider rude. Plus there was male worker. (I really want to complain about how Kolej 9 arrange their staff to work. How could they send male worker to check on the curtain? Didn't they have any female???).

And I had too many break outs. Actually I'm used to have break outs but this time around, the break outs are a little bit too much. I don't even have the courage to go outside=/

Thank you Falah and sorry for the trouble of having to have you to send me but last minute it was cancelled.

And I haven't see Farah for 4 days. Where are you Farah-ssi?

[200310] I am missing them T.T

2010-03-27T14:19:00.007+08:00

Last Year's TESL Nite, I was there, looking stunningly un-pretty yet not all bad, enough to get me trough the night.

My 3 important girls in UTM (aka my bestfriends^^) and this is last year.

But this year I just had to let it go. It's sad the fact that I can't be at two different places at once. Hearing how my girls got lost on their way back makes me feel evenmore sad. I wish I could be there. But at least my heart is half with you girls. (Half because I can't deny where the other half should go =D) I gain something and I lost something but that is how life is supposed to be right? So Because I missing them, I steal pictures from Hasu's FB. I hope she is okay with... Sorry Hasu and Thank you Hasu=)

Huhu, wish I could be there. Heard the place is pretty='(

My "madu" and Cik Hasu look stunning that night. Cik "Madu", did you enjoy it? Hehehe

and I officially miss my last TESL Nite as TESL undergradutes of UTM

[200310] Memorable Meeting

2010-03-26T09:19:00.012+08:00

So many things I want to share...

So many things I want to do...

So many things I want to talk about...

There are just so many many things...

But I guess I go by number? Which one should I start first? My depression and exhaustion caused by PSM? My happy moments meeting my two best friend, the original triple noize again? Or about the sudden change of heart? I don't know where should I begin exactly but recently I am happy since I have submitted my *shabby* PSM report so I have no heart to rant so I think I will go with KL first? Yup I will.

*Changing the title*

Okay so the adventure begin on March 20th. I was late. My bus was at 8.15am but I was late. I arrived right on time and I can't even salam my mum who was there to deliver the cake nor do I have the time to properly salam Falah and Farah who sent me to the bus stop. Nonetheless, I am still thankful to them for taking care of me well^^. So I boarded the bus... to my surprise, it was soooo shabby! I won't take that bus ever again. The air condition was not working, the conductor was rude. The only good thing from the journey was the Chinese girl who sat next to me. She is a nice girl/lady so I am glad we sat next to each other.

I hate long journey using public transportation. When will I arrive?

I reached KL around 12 and I waited for Nina to come and fetch me at Pudu. I was lost and I'm glad the fact that I don't know anything about KL. and I don't want to so I just waited.

and We went to UTM KL, took our lunch before heading down to Mid Valley.

The short and middle sized lady is me. While the tall and model like is Nina, my little (giant) sister

Being young is always good right? Hanis (Junior back in High School) & I

I tell you, my worst experience ever of having to board KTM. I swear (for fun) that I will never take that damn thing ever again. Hanis, Nina and I were making human chain so we can get in and we got in, we were pushed. I had to protect myself well with my bag because there were 6 guys in front of me (yes, I counted, for a lack of better things to do. Don't worry, I look at them only once. None of them are worthy for second look anyway^^) and I was lucky it was Nina who stood behind me and she stood close to the door so we are safe. And Evenmore lucky that our stop was only one station away. Hence, I quickly get off while screaming "Excuse me!" to the people on the side.

Waiting for me at Mid was not Alice in the Wonderland Exhibition but my best friend Azzat! We finally met and she treat me Vanilla Milkshake from Coffee Bean (Pray tell, is this a boycott product?)

Not so wonderland when people were swarming in one place

Sorry Azzat, Ko terpaksa tunggu aku lama kat sana. Bukan aku sengaja lambat tapi public KL ni ha.

Alice kah????

and finally finally after the long hour of waiting Jasmine finally arrived (she just finished her seminar that requires her to dress up so smartly in blue or turquoise. That explain the Blue baju kurung^^)

Triple Noize back together again!

and on the same day I had the most beautiful meeting ever! I am happy, content and still very much flabbergasted over the whole thing. Thank you... I think I love you more! and also have a minor change of heart. I don't love D less but I love H more. (Gossip Girl style of talking. xoxo Mawa. haha)

After that,I was so exhausted. I won't tell you my moment with callous Pak Guard of UTM KL. They were so damn strict, okay but when I was left alone at Damai Putra Station (or was it LRT???) at 12am, it's not funny. Especially being alone in KL, it's not a gag. They won't allow my sister to fetch me because they convince that my sister were breaking the rule and will go to other place. So Hanis with every ounce of courage she had just told the Pak Guard straight in the face "Kalau ada ape-ape berlaku kat kakak kiteorg memang pakcik la bertanggungjawab". Nina was crying and I had a few tears spilled down while waiting because this is not my place and I don't know anything about this place. I saw Mat Rempit while waiting and Kids playing bike in the early hours of morning. But there was this couple who were so nice. They silently waiting in their car, waiting until I was fetched. (The husband was waiting for his wife to finish her work and she works at the station judging from her uniform but after his wife arrived, they were still there. Nice people! Alhamdulillah Allah sent them).

So my fears were discarded after I was fetched by the Pak Guards accompanied with Hanis and Nina. It was soon replaced by tiredness. I went to bed straight away, without caring to take shower. That was how tired I was.

That Sunday morning, it was kind of solemn. I woke up with redness in my eyes and the development of eye bag. Of course, the first thing I did was taking shower. When Nina said she will go to a good place,half of my mind was with her. Even when I was on the ride home, I contemplate whether or not I should just join her. But in the end, the bigger part of me did not give in, so I found myself boarding the bus to JB at 12.30.

Bye bye KL.

After the trip, I decided KL is not place and will never my place. I love JB. I was born in raised in JB. KL is too... crowded for me.

Care about...

2010-03-18T20:27:00.001+08:00

...my fellow muslims in Palestine

Directly copied from here that was taken from here

Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Penyayang

Situasi tegang di Baitul Maqdis timur dan di Masjid al-Aqsa terutamanya menimbulkan keresahan dan kebimbangan di kalangan masyarakat antarabangsa dan umat Islam khususnya. Ketegangan yang sudah berlanjutan lebih dari seminggu semakin memuncak apabila pada 16hb Mac 2010, polis Israel bertindak ganas mencederakan lebih dari 49 rakyat Palestin yang cuba melindungi kesucian Masjid al-Aqsa.

Rakyat Palestin dan umat Islam tidak punya pilihan melainkan bangkit mempertahankan Masjid al-Aqsa ekoran tindakan Israel membangunkan semula kuil Hurva di perkarangan Masjid al-Aqsa. Ia adalah satu tindakan yang jelas bertujuan untuk mengancam Masjid al-Aqsa dan sebahagian dari perancangan jahat untuk meruntuhkan masjid tersebut dan menggantikannya dengan Haikal, tempat penyembahan Yahudi yang selama ini menjadi angan-angan mereka. Upacara perasmian kuil pada 15 Mac yang lalu yang turut dihadiri oleh Perdana Menteri Israel, Benyamin Netanyahu adalah percikan api pertama yang akan mencetuskan ledakan besar. Ekoran dari tindakan provakasi ini, Khaled Mish’al tokoh dan jurucakap HAMAS di Damsyik menggesa supaya rakyat Palestin bangkit melancarkan intifadah demi mempertahankan Masjid al-Aqsa dan Tanah Suci Baitul Maqdis. Tindakan Israel membangunkan tempat ibadat mereka di kawasan penduduk Arab yang beragama Islam dan Kristian adalah jelas menggunakan sentimen keagamaan untuk melanjutkan agenda jahat Zionis untuk menguasai Baitul Maqdis.

Perancangan ini adalah seiring dengan pengumuman Tel Aviv untuk meneruskan projek pembinaan penempatan haram Yahudi yang menempatkan tambahan 1,600 unit apartment di Baitul Maqdis timur. Meskipun Israel bersetuju untuk menghentikan projek penempatan Yahudi di Tebing Barat dan Baitul Maqdis timur dalam semua perundingan damai yang dicapai bersama pihak berkuasa Palestin sejak dari Perjanjian Oslo 1993 sehinggalah Konferens Annapolis pada tahun 2007, namun seperti yang dijangka, Israel sama sekali tidak akan menghormati syarat-syarat rundingan damai tersebut. Sudah termaktub di dalam Perlembagaan negara haram Israel bahawa Tebing Barat yang mereka rujuk sebagai ‘Judea’ dan ‘Samaria’ adalah bahagian yang integral dari negara Israel dan Jerusalem (Baitul Maqdis) diwartakan sebagai ibu negara Israel yang abadi. Pembinaan penempatan Yahudi di atas tanah-tanah rakyat Palestin yang mereka rampas adalah bertujuan untuk mengyahudikan Baitul Maqdis. Kehadiran kuil Hurva adalah pelengkap kepada cita-cita untuk menguasai Baitul Maqdis sepenuhnya dengan mengeluarkan rakyat Palestin yang beragama Islam dan Kristian.

Dalam saat-saat situasi cemas yang berlaku kini di Baitul Maqdis timur dan Masjid al-Aqsa maka AQSA SYARIF menegaskan berikut:

1. AQSA SYARIF menggesa pemimpin-pemimpin negara Islam supaya bersuara dan menyatakan sikap dan pendirian terhadap provokasi Israel di tanah suci Baitul Maqdis. Negara-negara Islam wajib bersatu menggesa PBB supaya memanggil satu persidangan tergempar bagi mengambil tindakan ke atas Israel yang jelas mencabul hak rakyat Palestin dengan mengocak sentimen keagamaan.

2. AQSA SYARIF menggesa masyarakat antarabangsa supaya mendesak Israel menghormati semua syarat-syarat perundingan damai yang telah dipersetujui dengan pihak berkuasa Palestin terutama persetujuan Israel untuk menghentikan projek pembinaan penempatan Yahudi di Tebing Barat dan Baitul Maqdis timur. Tindakan Israel meneruskan pembinaan penempatan Yahudi di sana pasti akan menggagalkan proses rundingan damai dan apa yang dikatakan sebagai penyelesaian dua negara.

3. AQSA SYARIF menggesa Amerika Syarikat supaya berhenti menyebelahi dan melindungi Israel yang telah sekian lama melanggar ketetapan PBB berkaitan hak rakyat Palestin. Pencabulan Israel ke atas hak-hak rakyat Palestin yang diperakui oleh piagam PBB dan Deklarasi Hak Asasi Manusia 1948 adalah berpunca dari dasar luar Amerika yang mempertahankan semua tindakan regim Zionis itu meskipun ia bertentangan dengan prinsip undang-undang dan hak asasi.

4. AQSA SYARIF menyeru umat Islam supaya tidak terpedaya dengan perancangan jahat regim Zionis yang berselindung di sebalik proses rundingan damai untuk melanjutkan agenda pendudukan bumi Palestin dan Baitul Maqdis. AQSA SYARIF yakin bahawa satu-satunya jalan penyelesaian yang ampuh ialah dengan seluruh umat Islam berdiri teguh di belakang rakyat Palestin dan menyatakan solidariti mereka terhadap perjuangan pembebasan bumi Palestin dari pendudukan Zionis. Umat Islam juga wajib membantu baik dari segi kewangan dan moral serta mempertahankan hak rakyat Palestin dalam forum-forum antarabangsa.

5. AQSA SYARIF menyeru semua rakyat Malaysia, khususnya umat Islam supaya tidak melanggan produk-produk yang dikenalpasti memberi sokongan kepada ekonomi Israel. Empat barangan yang jelas menyumbang kepada ekonomi Israel ialah McDonald, Coca-Cola, L’oreal dan Nestle. Umat Islam diseru supaya mengutamakan barangan tempatan dan hanya melanggan produk asing terutama dari Amerika Syarikat yang menjadi sekutu kuat Israel apabila perlu sahaja dan sebagai pilihan terakhir. AQSA SYARIF mengajak seluruh rakyat Malaysia supaya menyambut kempen BDS (Boycott, Divestment and Sanction – kempen memboikot, mengalihkan pelaburan dan sekatan) terhadap Israel yang giat diterajui oleh masyarakat madani (civil society) kumpulan hak asasi dan pertubuhan bukan kerajaan di peringkat global.

6. AQSA SYARIF juga menyeru umat Islam supaya membela Masjid al-Aqsa yang merupakan masjid ketiga paling suci dalam Islam. Kewajipan melindungi masjid tersebut dan tanah suci Baitul Maqdis berada di atas pundak umat Islam seluruh dunia dan bukan menjadi tanggungjawab rakyat Palestin semata-mata.

7. AQSA SYARIF mengalu-alukan peranan yang dimainkan oleh pelbagai NGO yang menyokong perjuangan rakyat Palestin dan konsisten di dalam menyemarakkan kempen solidariti bersama rakyat Palestin. AQSA SYARIF akan terus berganding bahu dengan semua pihak untuk meningkatkan kesedaran rakyat Malaysia agar menyumbang wang ringgit dan menghulurkan bantuan demi membela rakyat Palestin yang tertindas oleh kekejaman regim Zionis Israel.

8. AQSA SYARIF juga tidak lupa untuk merafaqkan sembah kepada DYMM Yang Dipertuan Agung dan menzahirkan sokongan kepada Kerajaan Malaysia yang tidak pernah mengiktiraf negara haram Israel sejak negara mencapai kemerdekaan dan konsisten di dalam menyanggah pendudukan regim zionis Israel ke atas bumi Palestin.

Sekian kenyataan AQSA SYARIF dan semoga rakyat Palestin terus teguh di dalam perjuangan mereka dan akhirnya kemenangan berpihak kepada pejuang-pejuang di jalan Allah swt.

Ust. Hasanuddin bin Mohd Yunus

Pengerusi AQSA SYARIF

AQSA SYARIF adalah sebuah badan bermotif kebajikan yang didaftarkan di Malaysia No. 729288P. Misi AQSA SYARIF adalah Penyebaran Maklumat tentang Palestin, Bantuan Kemanusiaan, Bantuan Kewangan dan Kerjasama.

AQSA SYARIF beribu pejabat di Kajang Selangor.

No. Telefon: 013-7444428;

E.mail: admin@aqsasyarif.com or myhasanuddin@gmail.com;

Laman Web: www.aqsasyarif.com

You Better Run!

2010-03-18T08:20:00.005+08:00

"넌 재미 없어 매너 없어
넌 devil, devil 넌 넌"

Kalau diterjemah ke Bahasa Meayu ia jadi

"kau memang tak fun, kau membosankan

kau setan, kau memanglah setan"

kasar kan?

Tapi itu hanyalah sedikit sedutan dari keseluruhan lagu tu. Kalau dapat dengar lagu tu semua lagi best. Dan tentu ia ditujukan kepada lelaki-lelaki yang berperangai macam setan kat luar sana.Mereka fikir mudah untuk permain perempuan? You break their heart into pieces and run away? You do things together then when you found someone you think is better you go just like that? Super playboy much? Honestly, you are no fun, you have no manners.

I love this kind of song, it gets into me much easier.

Oh By the way, it's just a song. It wasn't directed to anyone in particular so if you think you have manners, don't shoot your arrow of "righteous" towards me. This is just a song, duh! Don't be so boring!

BIG & Idol World

2010-03-12T05:27:00.004+08:00

I'm going to BIG today. I have the registration at 8am later and the camp was supposedly to start after Solat Jumaat at 2.30pm.

So what is this BIG is all about?

BIG is an acronym for Bina Insan Guru. Well at least the name is decent enough, suit for the purpose it serves, Boringness In Game.

This camp is compulsory for all Faculty of Education 4th year students...

I am way too sleepy to explain everything right now so pray that everything will go well and I actually TRY to enjoy what the camp has to offer.

and just for the record, I hate mixing with other courses simply because of the bad history we had but I will try to not to hate it. TRY. Verb

and the idol world thingy has nothing to do with this post whatsoever

In the middle of busyness;finding the time to do this^^

2010-03-11T22:11:00.005+08:00

Adakah anda rasa anda HOT?

Weather yes. Person No

Upload wallpaper laptop yang anda sedang gunakan
curios bunch now are we?

Lagu terakhir korang dengar?
MBLAQ Oh yeah

Apakah benda lain yang anda sedang buat melainkan tag ini?
Youtubing

Selain daripada nama sendiri anda dipanggil ape?
Nope. I only have my name to be called. Be it Wada, Mawa or Mawaddah

On the other hand, I wish, so hard right now that I can go to KL next week to meet Jasmine and Azzat. Though my mum seems to make it hard on me , I try to make it happen. Pray to Allah that everything will go on smoothly... TT

Let me do it!

2010-03-10T07:03:00.003+08:00

Male Facebook friends list on Mawaddah Salleh account

Abd. Wahab Muhammad - Paklong mak's sides

Amer Kamel - Neighbour/old friend, not so dear though but still appreciate him

Ammar Salleh - a brother, duh!

Auf Ali - Nice nice adik. Kind of close to him

Cai Lokman - I don't know how or why but I just okay with him. I never talk to him actually

Ezaidin Norman - Ustazku

Fahmi Abdul Ghani - Adik Falah

Hafizuldin Selamat - Pak Usu

Iszuan Salim - Adik Sepupu

Kairul Wahab - Adik Sepupu

Luke Lok - Nemesis but also a good and comfortable friend of mine. Chinese guy

Salleh Kassim - Bapak

SanBas - Show. Bestfriend Salman and happen to be a close acquittance of mine

Silver Blanco - A lost good FB friendship. Use to be close to him before I deleted my previous FB.

Wayang Scopso - Salman. Must you ask?

Zakwan Rusli - Adik Sepupu

Those list tells you on why I deny your friend request. I want to keep the mission of having FB a clear one. Not to play game, not to expend my social life circle, not to add those who are not comfortable with me, real life wise, not to add those who I am not comfortable with, real life wise. Sorry for those I have rejected. I want to keep my mission of using FB clear and that is to have only good friends and close acquittance only. I don't just add and approve anyone like my previous FB. Because when we do something, it has to has a clear objective and aims.I am happy with this list and if it was to expand, it'll expand on the cost of I know you and I have a good friendship with you. If you add me just to add up the number of your f-list, forget it.

Honey~

2010-03-10T02:29:00.004+08:00

Orang kata madu itu manis tapi bermadu itu pahit. Ya, itu benar. Hakikatnya tak semua wanita dapat menerima fakta itu dengan hati terbuka. Maka berlakulah kes-kes kecurangan yang serius dan wanita seolah hilang arah pabila sang suami melakukan perbuatan durjana, mencurangi isteri sebelum berkahwin. Kalau dah kawin lain cerita. Sekurang-kurangnya kurang dosa. Dan maksud mencurangi yang diperkatakan penulis disini ialah "the act of adultery".

Pada ketika usiaku 16 tahun jagung, aku punya pandangan ku terhadap kahwin lebih dari satu. Aku kira pada ketika itu semua lelaki mahu jadikan aku isteri mereka kerana sikap terbuka ku menerima perkara ini. Perkara ini pernah kubincangkan dengan Jasmine.

M: Jas, anti bole terima tak kalo suami anti mintak nak kawin lagi

J: (dengan pantas menjawab) TAK BOLEH! Mana bole. (Ada satu hujah yang beliau keluarkan tapi kurang jelas di fikiran kini). Macam mana kalau anti?

M: Ana? emmm... ana rasa ana tak kisah. Tengok la reason dia ape.

Dan proses berlaku. Membesar dan semakin matang ku kira, aku tetap punya pandangan ku tentang kahwin lebih dari satu. Ya, aku tidak pernah menafikan hak lelaki. Mereka punya hak itu. Malah ia adalah sunnah. Namun satu perkara yang lelaki terlepas pandang disini ialah Rasullullah S.A.W. hanya berkahwin selepas Khadijah R.A. meninggal dunia. Sunnah sebenarnya ialah berkahwin selepas isteri pertama kahwin.

Kini, ya, tetap aku tidak berubah. Ditanyakan sanggupkah aku bermadu jawapan ku mudah

"Boleh. Tapi ceraikan saya."

Hakikat. Tak semua lelaki mampu berlaku adil. Dan aku juga tahu aku tak mampu menahan marah sekiranya ia berlaku. Pengalaman dari mereka yang lebih dewesa menjadikan aku takut pada perkahwinan.

Hati hanya satu. Bagaimana ia dapat dibagi-bagi, diadil-adilkan?

Kalau aku nak nikah, aku akan pastikan lelaki itu sayang aku lebih dari aku sayangkan dia...

Tapi kalau dengan Kak Ana, aku tak kesah sebab kami dah declare yang kami memang madu sebab F.A.^^ Kalau dulu roommate, sekarang "madu", hanya dengan Kak Ana seorang aje^^

Cold hearted man (or woman in this case)

2010-03-03T16:44:00.006+08:00

I think I have lost my mind lately. Due to so many works, I am so tired and weary and stays up only to get nothing done. It hurts my feeling, and I am hurting myself too, Pity Mawa...^^

I will jeopardize myself if I continue being like this.

But that is not the point of talking (or writing in this case).

I want some people to get out of my life for good, free me from their grasp. I am nobody's baby (except for my family). I don't want to in-debt to anybody. It takes a lot of strength to go through this and I am not going to do this twice, Allah knows I won't go through the same thing twice. I won't be living in the "Kitaran Bodoh" when I know each and everyday is another promising day to be a better Muslimah. Let's pretend that we don't know one another when our path cross. It will make you and I feel so much better. Trust me, one day, you will thank me for that.

and I have yet graduate (which I will be in two months time) so please people, I am to the point of begging you to stop all the talk about marriage. I have fears of that. I am not good enough to be anyone's wife that is for sure but I just don't want to continue with the talk. I have grown tired of it. I am not ready to be a wife, I don't want to be one... yet. Please stop! it gives me so much pressure than the one I already have to bear on my shoulder...

"Hanya Engkau yang tahu siapa aku, tetapkanlah seperti malam ini, sucikan diriku selama-lamanya"

I love HIM...

Bits and pieces in the middle of the Night

2010-02-25T03:10:00.006+08:00

- Men can be faithful when they choose to be but not many of them want to be.

- People around me are good people. At least I have poeple to remind me what it's like to be rotten in Hell for the sins right? Nauzubillah. I don't know if I ever deserve heaven but I certainly don't want to be in Neraka Jahannam. I guess I am lucky for having good people around me even when half of them I hardly know.

- It's good that people around me try to speak in English but sometimes it annoys me when people tend to mix English and Malay too often and funnily over what it seems as nothing

eg:

1) You know, I rasa all that tak berkesan pun (all english : You know, in my opinion/ I think that thing will not work or all malay: aku rasakan semua tu tak berkesan pun)

2) I think la kan, that boy tak suka dia pun tau. Dia tu nak jadikan skandal je

3) Kite can make it happen but tempat tu kena tukar la, change place, tukar, I mean temapt tu bagus tp tak berapa perfect for camping kite tu nanti

Pendek kata, geli la! if you want to use English, use all English, if you mix it up like the above examples people will take you as;

a) showing off when you have nothing to show off

b0 pretending your English is good when it is not

c) you are an idiot

It is wrong to judge people and I have learn that over the years of becoming a human but we cannot help it when people have that kind of thinking. Humans are judgmental by nature even when they are trying to deny it. But shoving off that thought quickly and not brooding over it make them a non-judgmental person.

So do think before you speak. and if you are planning to end your sentence with "because..." please finish your sentence with a proper word. You don't have to speak in American or English accent but just be confident when use the language.

- I only speak English with people that I am comfortable with.

- I don't expect some people to come back into my life when my signs are obvious enough for them to understand what I meant. I don't want them to. If you are out of my life, please just stay out of the line. I am never nice. Out of sight, out mind.

- The hardest to talk to is probably your best friend. I boycott stuff but it's hard to say anything when I found a receipt of McD on top of the table. I can only wince but I can't say anything. You guys understand me right? it's more than just a principal. my tongue are tied. I can joke but I can't say a word even in joking manner so it hurts. Despite how open I may look like, I keep a lot more things to myself. I may look like I tell it all but actually I am far more quiet than meets the eye.

- To people who might find my blog a little disturbing for them to future my blog on blog list/ link, I don't mind to be deleted. I have seen some people did that, claiming my blog is not Islamic enough, not good enough (May Allah bless you for making your blog a good one, alhamdulillah). I'm blogging for myself, because I enjoy writing, it might not be knowledgeable but it's me. I'm not trying to be you nor do I ask you to understand me. After all, I hardly visit other people's blog because I am ignorant like that but I do care for those who sincerely care about me.

- The reason that led to this post? I am too tired of reading and writing, in academic sense.

Here’s one for the Memory of Bloody Bad Boy

2010-02-24T16:30:00.002+08:00

I think bad boys are attractive but they only nice to be looked at, nothing more. It's not wrong to say that I used to like to look at bad boys in my school. He is not good looking ( rust me, not at all!) but he has this bad boy aura, being a skater (which is an additional point of being a bad boy back then), tall, smokes (I hate it but I guess that's what bad boy does?) But yes, he is nice to talk to but not with me. We never really talk but we were connected through a few simple messages. But I guess he doesn't really know who I am no more than I am a daughter of his math teacher.

I am never really into bad boy type. I think bad boys are…. Bad. I still like guy with soft feature, someone who can laugh at my joke, laugh at himself. I hate serious guys, they are beyond boring. Or guy who talks about himself more than listening to other people's talking. Or guy who doesn't make jokes. Or guy who doesn't interest me. Or a guy whom face deserves to be punched.

Wow! It's amazing how I can find time to write about bloody bad boy when I have works piling up, waiting for me to finish it up. The works are eager to be finished but I am too lazy to work it up. But I can't be lazy, I should just finish it up no matter what.

Me, personally

2010-02-08T15:37:00.001+08:00

According to the test that I have taken just now, I have concluded, so much so that whatever the result I got there is correct

http://literacyworks.org/mi/assessment/cgi-bin/results.cgi

Will comment on details later^^

Facebook

2010-02-08T13:18:00.003+08:00

Salam
Hasil kajian dan pembacaan, saya dapati facebook telah dijatuhkan hukum harus

http://www.zaharuddin.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=901&Itemid=72
dan ini bukanlah satu-satunya artikel yang saya baca. Telah banyak kajian yang telah saya baca mengenainya. Maka facebook sekarang boleh dikategorikan sama seperti muzik, kalau overdose, bole jadi haram namun hukum dasarnya ialah harus^^

p/s: antara perkara yang membuat saya terasa hati ialah mereka yang dikatakan mempunyai pengetahuan agama yang lebih dalam dari saya telah gagal menasihatkan saya tentang perkara ini malah secara terbuka tanpa mereka sedar telah mengumpat mengenai saya.

"Mawaddah tu ada patut tulis kat blog dia mcm tu? dia tak patut buat macam tu. Dia perlu banyak membaca lagi"
"Ana tak rasa dia patut tuduh orang macam tu, kita ada misi dakwah di facebook tu"

Kepada mereka yang telah mengumpat saya, saya ucapkan terima kasih dan saya memaafkan anda. Tapi maaf di pihak saya, forgive AND forget is never my policy. I never hold grudge but thank you for leaving the pain and bad memory about you in my mind. You will never be respected in the same way I used to respect you. No matter how "labuh" your tudung is, it's a clear cut tudung is not the only way to know people's heart.

Living the Harvard's Dream

2010-02-05T01:10:00.006+08:00

Checklist for Harvard University Summer School Qualification:

1) Malaysian Citizen - Checked.Qualified
2) UTM undergraduates and have gone trough at least 1 semester in UTM with 3.0 and above CGPA - Checked. Qualified
3) A good command of English Language - Checked (approved by my Canadian's Friend and Lecturer and they are native speakers - maybe for having such a strong American accent T.T). Qualified
4) Physically present in UTM during application - I don't know yet
5) Have strong interest and able to demonstrate how this program will add value to your degree - at least I have some ideas now so yeah, checked.

On my way home, I had a chat with my dad (don't I always?). My dad asked me if I'm ready to go the summer school and I told him, I am very much prepared only I had to take either TOFL or IELTS to have the qualification. I also told him that I need at least RM550 to take the test. Then it occured to him to ask me if I know anything about the hostel fees. Because I had this idea that UTM will pays it all for the lucky five, so I just told him what I know but it turns out that I was wrong. Bapak told me that they only pay for the tuition fees and the ticket. The hostel ONLY will cost about 3k and I'm talking about USD. Convert it to RM, it'll be around 10k. I was shocked that I had the ideas of not going at all. 10k is not RM10. It's worth all the money to go hajj. If it's cost that much, no, I am not going. I'll just go off to the GOP in Sweden. Not as costly but I will still take IELTS, that is for my future and I might need it (because bapak said he will pay for the cost of taking IELTS, alhamdulillah)

But then bapak said he will confirm it all first, if we do receive some amount of pocket money. It's too impossible if they only support the tuition fees. Think of how much we will gain, the experience and what it does in upholding UTM's name. UTM can proudly say they have students in Harvard (not to show off but it will somehow upgrade the quality that UTM has already has, being the topxx university in South East Asia)

and I drove car today!!!!!! Thank you so much Falah for the trust you have in me!

Dear Mak

2010-01-31T17:19:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAK!!!!!!!!!!!

(I'll update this post in awhile but for now, I don't want to miss the wishing and the date^^)

Like the way you smile...

2010-01-30T19:01:00.005+08:00

oh oh oh oh 오빠를 사랑해♥
ah ah ah ah 많이 많이 해
수즙으니 제발 웃지 마요
진심이니 놀리지도 말아요

(you, your personality, your sense, your shoes)

p/s: I am human. I wish I could be perfect like you people out there but with sense, I am full of imperfection but still, I am trying to be perfect. Not apologizing to you for my imperfect-self because I love myself.

Tentang dia, tentang F.A.

2010-01-29T08:28:00.007+08:00

alahai, asal la muka macam 3 minggu tak mandi? terlalu meranakah? Kambing la! (hahaha kambing kambing pun asal aku suka gak?";})();ButtonMouseDown(this);'>)

SEKIAN lama berdiam diri, akhirnya pelakon kacak Fahrin Ahmad (me:Kacak ke? hehehe. Kalau tak, takkan la jadi model garnier for man kan?) membuat keputusan mengambil tindakan undang-undang terhadap bekas kekasihnya, Linda Onn.

Biarpun pasangan yang pernah digandingkan menerusi program realiti Sehati Berdansa musim pertama dan kedua ini menafikan hubungan cinta mereka, tembelang mereka pecah selepas masing-masing membawa haluan sendiri. Lantaran itu, segala cerita yang selama ini menjadi rahsia antara mereka menjadi bahan berita di media massa.

Apa yang mengejutkan, Linda berani mengeluarkan kenyataan yang didakwa memfitnah bekas buah hatinya itu. Hingga laporan media terbaru yang memetik kenyataan Linda menerusi dua akhbar, menjadi kemuncak kesabaran Fahrin yang kemudian mengambil tindakan undang-undang.

Menerusi firma guaman, Tengku Naufal & Co, Fahrin mengemukakan notis tuntutan yang mengandungi empat perkara iaitu kenyataan maaf terbuka Linda menerusi akhbar, penarikan balik kenyataan Linda terhadap Fahrin yang dibuat sebelum ini, surat aku janji secara bertulis agar Linda tidak mengulangi perbuatan itu dan tuntutan ganti rugi. Dalam notis tuntutan itu, Fahrin memberi masa selama tujuh hari hingga Isnin depan untuk mendapat maklum balas daripada Linda. Pendirian Fahrin kali ini sebenarnya bukan mahu mengheret Linda terus ke muka pengadilan sebaliknya masih memberi ruang pada penyampai radio popular itu untuk menyelesaikan kes antara mereka dengan baik mengikut tempoh notis tuntutan yang diberikan selama seminggu.

Pada sidang media yang diadakan di Palace Of The Golden Horses, Seri Kembangan, Selangor kelmarin, Fahrin menyatakan kenyataan Linda dalam dua akhbar berkenaan memberi tekanan padanya dari aspek psikologi dan mencalar maruah.

Ikuti temu bual lanjut wartawan Rap, Elrafaei Sapi (ahmadelrafaei@hmetro.com.my) bersama Fahrin yang turut menjawab pelbagai soalan lain.

SOALAN (S): Bagaimana perasaan anda sekarang selepas mengadakan sidang media kelmarin? JAWAPAN (J): Walaupun saya sudah nyatakan perasaan dalam sidang media itu, tetapi hakikatnya, dalam diri saya masih diselubungi perasaan sedih dan kecewa.

Seperti apa yang saya katakan, saya berdoa perkara ini tidak berpanjangan dan dapat diselesaikan secara baik selepas ini. Saya percaya masih ada jalan penyelesaian untuk menamatkan perkara ini. S: Mengapa Fahrin merahsiakan hubungan cinta dengan Linda selama ini hingga tindakan undang-undang diambil? J: Sebolehnya saya mahu beritahu semua orang mengenai hubungan cinta kami, tetapi apabila saya mempunyai pasangan yang menjalinkan hubungan, saya harus hormati keputusan dia.

Saya akui kami berkawan secara serius selama dua tahun. Pada saya, sebagai manusia biasa kita tidak terlepas daripada berkongsi perasaan seperti pasangan lain yang kecewa, sedih dan sebagainya.

Namun, tidak kira apa yang berlaku pada pasangan itu, apa yang penting kita harus bercakap perkara yang elok dan baik jika orang lain bertanya mengenai pasangan kita sendiri.

Ia suatu yang tidak sedap didengar apabila kita mengeluarkan kenyataan yang memburukkan orang lain. Seperti apa yang berlaku pada diri saya, mungkin secara tidak sedar seseorang itu menggunakan media untuk menyampaikan kisah cinta yang berlaku.

Bagi saya, tindakan menggunakan media sebegini adalah kurang bijak. Tidak perlu meluahkan perasaan secara terbuka hingga mengundang persepsi negatif masyarakat terhadap pasangan berkenaan. Sama ada berahsia atau tidak pada sesuatu perhubungan, ia terpulang pada individu masing-masing. Pokok pangkalnya percintaan itu harus menjadi indah dan jika berakhir sekali pun, ia harusnya dilakukan secara baik tanpa memburukkan satu sama lain. Apapun, saya reda dengan apa yang berlaku pada diri saya.

S: Kenyataan Linda dan Scha yang dikaitkan dengan anda sebelum ini seolah sama. Apa komen anda? J: Bagi saya, kedua-duanya adalah kisah percintaan yang berbeza. Jalan ceritanya juga sebenarnya berbeza, tetapi orang lain lebih memfokuskan pada diri saya seorang. Biarpun apa yang mereka lakukan, saya tidak berdendam, malah mendoakan kejayaan mereka. S: Atas apa yang berlaku, apakah anda serik bercinta dengan artis? J: Saya terpaksa mengakui perkara ini, saya serik bercinta dengan rakan artis. Sememangnya saya percaya soal jodoh adalah ketentuan Tuhan. Namun sebagai manusia, kita juga harus berusaha untuk mencari pasangan yang sesuai untuk dijadikan jodoh. Berdasarkan pengalaman cinta yang pernah saya lalui, saya sebolehnya mengelak mencari jodoh di kalangan artis selepas ini.

Buat masa ini, saya merasakan lebih senang memberi masa pada diri sendiri. Biarlah saya menyayangi diri sendiri ketika ini sebelum menemui jodoh yang sesuai suatu hari nanti.

S: Apakah Fahrin tidak khuatir diboikot dua akhbar yang disaman? J: Saya juga tertanya pada peguam saya adakah tindakan undang-undang sebegini yang diambil atas dua akhbar berkenaan akan membuatkan situasi saya diboikot media.

Bagaimanapun, saya percaya pada peranan media yang mempunyai etika kerja dan faham dengan tugas yang mereka lakukan. Biarpun saya ambil tindakan sebegini, saya sendiri masih mahu terus beri kerjasama pada media.

Hakikatnya, saya tidak lari daripada wartawan. Sebagai artis, saya faham dengan tugas wartawan dan saya juga berharap media faham tugas dan etika ketika bertugas.

S: Apa harapan dan pengajaran pada pengalaman cinta yang anda dilalui? J: Saya sebenarnya berharap perkara ini tidak berpanjangan. Sebelum ini, saya mendoakan kejayaan dia dan reda apabila antara kami tiada jodoh.

Mungkin tidak ramai yang tahu, banyak perkara yang saya simpan sendiri dan biarlah ia terpendam dalam diri saya. Saya percaya apa yang berlaku ada hikmahnya.

Saya juga percaya pada qada dan qadar Tuhan dan setiap sesuatu yang berlaku mematangkan kita menjadi lebih kuat dan tabah untuk meneruskan kehidupan pada masa hadapan. Atas apa yang berlaku pada diri saya, ia bukan saja menjadi pengajaran pada diri sendiri, tetapi memberi panduan pada artis lain agar membekalkan diri mereka dengan ilmu undang-undang.

Ini penting kerana ada kalangan artis yang tidak sedar apa yang dikatakan boleh menjurus pada tindakan undang-undang.

Mungkin selepas ini, saya ingin mencadangkan pada persatuan artis sedia ada agar mengadakan seminar mengenai undang-undang untuk mengatasi masalah sebegini jika menimpa mereka. Ini adalah jalan penyelesaian terbaik mengelak perkara yang pernah berlaku pada diri saya tidak berulang.

Article 2

Scha cuba berselindung di sebalik kata-katanya, namun spekulasi mendakwa sikap ringan tangan dan gemar berfoya-foya Fahrin menjadi punca dia mengambil keputusan meninggalkan kekasihnya yang bertubuh sasa itu.

AHAHAK Abang bertubuh sasa! geli I.

Takpelah, I kan ada
baik punya!

(p/s - Salman kata "ni tak lama ni. taste awk bukan yang mata sepet sepet, muka cina hidung mancung ke? ni asal tibe2 sangkut kat mamat jawa ni?" Eleh, ape salahnya, Jawa sasa ape. Tapi masalahnye, Jawakah dia?)

Apela kite merepek pagi-pagi ni! Penangan tak tidur satu malam la ni.

Cotton Candy is sweeeetttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-29T06:35:00.003+08:00

I like Cotton Candy...

you know, not the softie cotton candy though that is sweet too but I like Cotton Candy that goes well with beautiful, soothing voice, that makes me happy and smile and say "AAWWWW KYUUUUTE!!!!!!" whenever I 'taste' it. Cause the nature of Cotton Candy is sweet and to have different side of it, it is sweeter.

and the Cotton Candy that is perfect for the weather.

and the Cotton Candy that is as sweet as cotton candy...

I make sense I know I am. You get me right Falah & Putri?
I like it so much!
I think it's different yet I like it! ^__________________^
(and Putri, yes, I agree with you, to have 규's Cotton Candy would be so much better!)

It's embarrassing, honestly!

2010-01-28T17:08:00.004+08:00

As I stand by the window, overlooking the beautiful moon accompanied with little stars, I can't help but to think of my dream last two nights. I dreamed about.... him.

Yes, the name that has been coming up in my blog occasionally if not frequently.

The worst (or is it good?) part was, I was pregnant (???!!!!!) and I was interviewed by Michelle (is that her name?) of Melodi and she asked me if he ever hit me like how his ex-girlfriends claimed. With his hand on my lap, held my hand, I told the interviewer "Dia tak pernah cakap kasar pun dengan I" and he looked at me, all smile, a genuine smile. The rest, I daresay, a history (cause it was embarrassing)

I think the reason to why I had this weird dream is because I read an article from newspaper about him want to sue his ex-girlfriend Linda Onn. I had some pity because he, obviously a man, cried (I have a soft spot for man who cried T_T) Honestly, after that, I never even think about it. I folded the newspaper, put it where it belonged, unlike the usual me who stole any article that I like, and return to my room empty minded, not even a thought of that news or him. I just don't know why, how I ended up having that kind of dream. From my experience, if I really really like that guy, I will never dream about him. NEVER. I never dream about Cristiano Ronaldo till I severe all ties with him when he moved to real Madrid. I never, till date, ever dream about Donghae. I never, till I cut lose my own feelings, ever dream about my one and only crush. Weird things with him, I like him, as a fan yet, I dreamed about him.

I think I don't like him after all.

These past few weeks, I was teased because I spent longer time than usual to 'read' "Garnier for Men" advertisement. Siblings mocked me for staring at the tv way too long, claimed me to daze (almost drool - HEY I DO NOT DROOL!) when the interview with him has finished and because he has nice body build (that it scares me), yeah, my family teased me for that too.

And this is the first time I show any interest in Malay guy so I think it's big for my family especially when guy is not the topic I talk about (I almost never I daresay talk about guy with my family other than Salman but he is a different case all together). I never show interest in guy even when I used to have close contact with some boys. I don't even dare to mentioned name to my parents though I know they knew and they don't like it (so I ended the story, return the favor of money and feelings cause I really don't have any - even when I claimed I had, don't believe that, I was lying to myself too. I never felt any sort of connection, 또 바보같은 말 뿐야!)

and because of that weird dream, I woke up with my stomach twitching like mad and ended up having diarrhea and throwing up.

I guess even my body could not take such joke, or in this case, a dream.

and I claimed, nothing about me is perfect, yet I'm a perfectionist wannabe.

Al-Fatihah

2010-01-22T23:48:00.002+08:00

Buat Almarhum Sultan Johot, Sultan Iskandar...
Moga jasa beliau, terutamanya dalam menyedekahkan tanah yang kini menjadi tapak medan ilmu, Universiti teknologi Malaysia sentiasa dirahmati dan diberkati Allah

Al-Fatihah

a tiring update

2010-01-20T21:43:00.005+08:00

I promise myself not to write anything till I finish submitting chapter 3 because the internet almost looks like it wants to die on me everytime I want to do something academic related. Be the death of me!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alhamdulillah I manage to submit it.

Lately I am so so addicted with online shopping! So far I have spent a big amount of money, it scares me to state the amount here cause it is big, seriously. Nonetheless, put that aside, I have much more interesting thing to share....

FARAH DROVE THE CAR!!!!!

and yeah LOL me some of you might think, how big is that? Well, it is big for the four of us cause Farah had her license but she rarely drive so yesterday Falah gave the opportunity fir Farah to drive ( I was on the phone with Jasmine at that time that I cannot spazz properly on how Farah was driving but it sure was a bit of chaos that could be heard by Jasmine.)

So to celebrate the moment, I took the pictures of Farah behind the wheel;

and the owner of the car, Falah at the back (because I was on the phone);

can you spot the difference?^^

It's just for fun people, don't take it seriously

Not even that great...

2010-01-19T19:17:00.006+08:00

Salam.

Sometimes I am tired with expectation people have in me. I am tired with people saying "Oh you should be like this because you are like this". I am human after all. I know I have strayed from the path but Alhamdulillah Allah never leave me. But I have seen people who called themselves friend did. But I don't even want to talk about it.

After all, being with Allah is always, always the best remedies ever. Looking at his creation is one of the thing that will bring us back to him. Talking from experience. It really does.

(in front of my room in K9, Go Figure!)

I have seen people who were broken hearted because they so-called love left them, all broken like it can't be fixed anymore. They seems to have no hope in life, all they think about is having fun, to live the life in their own way is the best thing ever. They forget THE ONE up there. I was afraid that I used to be like that only not that rebel. I was less rebel but still it was tiring, living life with no aim. Alhamdulillah, now my life is so much better....

What a sober.

Thank to My Creator, The One, Allah...

This is Life yo!

2010-01-18T15:40:00.006+08:00

Hi Life...
when life is getting hard and works getting out of hand, how do you survive?
You have never given up, you were never scared and you were never tired.

Now Life, tell me, Should I go for it?

I failed my computer driving test.
Honestly it wasn't that tad difficult but alas, I refuse to blame my nervousness, I refuse to finger point my unprepared situation and I refuse to stop drinking coffee that I had that morning.

My mother's reaction was daebak. She almost fell over when I told her I failed.
My dad was all "ape la kakak ni! huh yang kena repeat tu bayar sendiri la ye"
and Ammar was laughing out loud despite me just give him RM30 top up.

and lately,I became crazy, slowly losing my sanity.
Yesterday my mum wanted to send me to UTM. Before getting into the car, I saw the tire and it was pitch black, with no rim. I was so surprised so I told my mum

"Mak, rim da hilang mak."
and my mum was so shocked asking for my phone and call my dad straight away and report the whole thing. She was so worried that she pulled over and went out and talk to my dad. So my dad came up with numerous theory on who would be possible to take and how does that person does it so on and so forth. So I took the chance to go down and check again.

That was it, my eyes were playing trick on me.

"Mak, ada la, kakak tak nampak tadi. Gelap sangat"

and she smirked.

"Tau la baru fail, da buta warna pulak ke?"

I just smiled. Indeed I failed. I was so nervous when I answer the questions that I almost fainted but once again, I refuse to blame anyone.

It was this.
The price that I have to pay for staring at this picture way too long the day before....

Malaysian church fire-bombed ahead of Muslim protests

2010-01-08T11:43:00.004+08:00

Full Article
http://news.malaysia.msn.com/regional/article.aspx?cp-documentid=3779834

An axcerpt

A church in Malaysia has been fire-bombed in an attack that gutted its ground floor, church officials said Friday, escalating a dispute over the use of the word "Allah" by non-Muslims.
A church in Malaysia has been fire-bombed in an attack that gutted its ground floor, church officials said Friday, escalating a dispute over the use of the word "Allah" by non-Muslims.
A fire department official said all stations were on alert for more blazes at religious buildings, ahead of planned nationwide protests Friday by Muslim groups angry over the use of the word as a translation for "God" by Christians.
The three-storey Metro Tabernacle church in suburban Kuala Lumpur, part of the Assemblies of God movement, was set ablaze in the attack which took place around midnight, said church leader Peter Yeow, 62.
"Witnesses saw four people smash the glass and throw incendiaries into the church building. They came on two motorcycles," he told AFP at the scene as fire department forensic officers picked through the wreckage.
There were no casualties in the attack on the church, which occupies the corner lot of a row of shop houses and which Yeow said draws some 1,500 people weekly.
"The fire destroyed the administrative part of the church. We do not know if the prayer hall on the third floor suffered any damage," he said, warning all other churches to "double their guard" against any attacks.

Is this their propaganda? To seek pity to search for attention? To reflect that Islam is such a violent religion? The Chimney will have no smoke unless there is fire.

If only we act with brain and use Al-Quran as our guide, this kind of thing will not be happening.
if only we fear Allah and we stay away from sins, this event won't take place.

Don't act brainless.

Petanda Umat Akhir Zaman.

Musuh Islam dah tak takut.

Apa usaha kita?

Kisah pertunangan, perkahwinan dan penangan

2010-01-08T07:12:00.008+08:00

Salam.
The title is just for fun^^.

LOL I lied after all. I thought the layout changing would make me a happy person in updating the blog but no, it doesn't change a bit, I am still lazy like this. Though my passion in writing never change, my hardworking part of me does which is sad.

The Pertunangan
I would like to share some pictures of my aunt's engagement and alhamdulillah, finally she got engaged to married soon in May 2010. But this even happened back in December 19, 2009^^. Just some pictures to share. When I say some, I really mean some.

The Perkahwinan
the very same day was also the where my school's senior tie the knot. I pray to Allah may their marriage will be a happily ever after marriage, more than a fairy tale.... I am not good at designing and come up with words like this but oh well... Alhamdulillah.

The Penangan?
Biasala, orang tanya "kakak bila nak kawin" jawabnya? Bila Allah tetapkan da sampai jodoh. Selagi tak sampai, selagi tu tak nak lah mencari. Da tak layak dah.

2009/2010

2010-01-01T16:44:00.003+08:00

Tirai dilabuhkan jua.
Pelbagai perkara dihadapi.
Bad result, then good again.
The downfall of Iman and the the process of upgrading Iman.
the laziness, the overworked.
Too much time wasting.
too much time on you, less time on YOU, astaghfirullah.

May Allah leads my way here now and here after.

To Emak. My all after Allah & Rasullullah. Terima Kasih kerana sentiasa memberi nasihat dan kata-kata semangat dan kelakar mak. Walaupun tak banyak cakap, kakak suka dengar dan keatwa je sambil mengambil serius setiap nasihat mak.

To Bapak. Terima Kasih. Perubahan besar yang banyak membantu kakak bangkit semula dan percaya segala kesalahan boleh dimaafkan dan setiap dosa boleh dipadam dengan taubat yang ikhlas dan setiap mehnah adalah jalan ke Syurga.

To My lovely siblings - WHAT AM I WITHOUT YOU AMMAR, SAKEENAH, AMNI, BALQIS, MUHSIN & UMAR!

To Adik-Adik Usrah, kelemahan ana lebih banyak dari kebaikan jadi marilah sama-sama kita membantu dalam proses meningkatkan Iman dan menguatkan hati dalam medan ini.

To Kakak Naqibah yg Disayangi, Kak Raihana, teruslah membantu. Kiranya ana jatuh, ana minta akak tolong papah ana dan bantu ana untuk bangkit kembali.

To Sahabat Seusrah, moga Ukhuwwah yang terjalin tidak terhenti disini sahaja.

To Besties, Jasmine, Falah, Farah, Putri & Salman. What more to say, you guys read me like a book that I have nothing to pretend in front of you. Thank you^^

JUMPA ANDA DI KISKA!!!! pada sapa yang pergi la^^
Korek balik Sejarah kita
Bagaimana kita bermula dan bagaimana kita jatuh.
Macam mana nak bangkit semula.

Alhamdulillah, permulaan baik.
Bak kata Ammar (adik)," da nampak cahaya Iman da kat situ"

Vacation D3

2009-12-29T23:26:00.008+08:00

Assalamualaikum.
I was supposed to had this up long ago and after that I will tell you about my aunts engagement but who can't resist laziness? Well at least I don't, for certain time only.
So here are pictures of my 3rd day of the vacation which dated, almost a month ago^^

In the morning, we were supposed to have a Tazkirah session by Ammar but due to fatigue, we decided to change it into a quick family meeting.

My baby brother, Abdullah Umar^^

and the pool that people use to swim
we don't abuse the facilities, we were just "exercising"

Heart and Soul^^

ON SALE!

After that we went for Mak and Bapak long lost friend back during their undergraduate years in California's daughter wedding.I don't know it such a disappointment when everyone there, well the women wear big hijab but I know none of them. See, we lost the touch of ukhuwwah there already. Even we wear the same clothing, it's like we have a total different fikrah, even the understanding is the same.

2hours later, we went back to KL. We went to Aquaria and Umar never stop spazzing about all the fishes there. I also met "it", my Nemo^^.

Oh well, it's Ammar^^

The Piranhas. Too bad we missed its meal time.

Umar was sticking with me or Nina like a glue the whole time. Though he was fascinated, he is still scared. Too much TV is bad for your kids because he was imagining the possibilities of the mirror to break and spills its water and all the fishes will be swimming around and eat him. Well, he is honestly all bones, I don't think the fishes want him. Maybe I will be the preyTT. The Amazon fishes are, Subhanallah so big!

One for the siblings. Missing 1 person which is the photographer^^

and a redemption for Amni for not being able to have siblings photo with us^^

Alhamdulillah!
Alhamdulillah Allah for this lovely family.
to be under Your guidance and love and to have family like this.
I couldn't be more thankful for all Your blesses upon me.
Hence O' Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Gracious,
Forgive all my sins, in the past and in the future.
I can't begin to count Your blessings and Your love for me and my family.
Thank You O' Allah, for I only have You.

Fahrin Fahrin sigh

2009-12-27T15:32:00.005+08:00

From Berita Tengahari NTV7

"Scha juga menafikan dia meminum minuman keras kerana baru baik daripada demam"

WHAT??????
Abes selama ni minum la? Kalau tak demam selama ni minum la? Istighfar panjang masa dengar cite ni. Bagus Fahrin putus dengan dia. Memang tak bape nak berkenan dengan si Shca tu. Fikir-fikir balik, nape la dia putus dengan Linda Onn dulu? Suka sangat derang dua tu. Tapi da jodoh tak panjang apo nak dikato.

okay this is like, the first time I ever like a Malay Celebrity and he had no luck whatsoever with girl. But I hope the curse will go away and he finds himself someone who is good for him and not a celebrity and doesn't like to go out and not a party girl.

I have things to rant about that I will keep that to myself.
and this is how I met Fahrin. I fooled my sisters by saying I met him at Shell and I even showed picture, this picture^^

Susah sangat ke nak tinggalkan Facebook?

2009-12-21T21:41:00.003+08:00

Semalam, masa aku sedang mengunakan internet, Ammar datang sebelahku.
"kakak, cepat sket kak. Ammar nak buat Facebook"

"Eh, asal lak? kan da tau tu boikot?"

"Tapi {} kata tak boikot. Dia kata memangla yang buat facebook tu Yahudi tapi dia tak menderma kat Israel"

"Eh, asal lak? da tentu tentu dia tu Yahudi, takkan la dia tak nak derma kat negara dia. Masa Lubnan kena serang tu, Facebook bukan popular pun masa tu tapi dia dapat derma 70% untuk penyerangan tu"

Ammar angguk kepala dan diam.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Banyak persoalan yang timbul tentang facebook. Bila keluar kenyataan yang facebook tu boikot, ramai yang ragu-ragu. Semua takut hilang kawan. diorang tanya

"Asal Boikot lak? cane dia bole jadi boikot? cane si Mark tu derma pada Zionis keuntungan dia?"
"Cakap la macam mana bila kite klik tu jadi derma?"

ada juga yang bagi kenyataan
"Kalau gitu tak payah la guna internet kalau semua kena boikot"
"ala ramai kawan la, ramai member lama, takkan nak delete cam tu je"
"facebook senang, user friendly, senag nak sebar dakwah"

------OKAY--------

Mari kita kaji benda ni satu persatu dari sudut logik akal. Mark Zuckerberg is a jewish. Secara logik akal, dia sebagai orang berketurunan Yahudi mestila nak buat sesuatu untuk negara dia. Dia sekarang dah terkenal, disenaraikan sebagai ornag paling berpengaruh di dunia di tempat ke51. Keuntungan tahunan Facebook mencecah 5000Million setahun. Mark disenaraikan dalam 100 manusia terkaya di dunia oleh majalah Forbes.

Come on la man, kalau McD yang tak dipunyai oleh Yahudi boleh derma pada Zionis, ni apatah lagi orang Yahudi tu sendiri. Adakah teknologi canggih Facebook tu da butakan mata hati korang? Ana tak nak cakap bagus la tapi orang yang approach ana berkali-kali suruh boikot mcd starbucks tu antara orang yang paling kuat menentang pemboikotan facebook. Kononnye Facebook ni tak menderma pada Zionis laknatullah. Ingat senang ke ana nak tinggalkan minum Starbuck tu? Oi, tu fav tau tak. Tapi demi menyahut seruan Illahi dan membantu sahabat di Palestine, walaupun secara tak langsung, ana tekad tinggalkan.

Masa adik ana bagi mesej fasal facebook tu boikot sebab dia guna cost per click untuk dapat keuntungan, tang tu jugak ana delete. Ana akui ana ada beratus kawan dalam tu. Kawan yang ana tak rapat in real life pun bole jadi rapat lepas guna facebook. Tapi ana tak nak lagi bersengkongkol dengan kejahatan zionis tu, lantas tanpa fikir dua tiga kali, terus je delete.

Ana berjaya cakap pada rakan2 seusrah dan sahabat baik ana. Namun tak semua ada kekuatan jiwa macam ana.

Persoalan di sini pada mereka yang guna alasan dakwah untuk guna facebook, itu je ke cara yang ada? Blog? Friendster? Myspace? Lagi la budak kat myspace tu semua gonjeng-gonjeng, asal tak dakwah pada mereka? kenapa nak guna Facebook yabg rata-rata korang da kenal in real life orangnya? Tak payah la nak menegakkan benang yang basah.

Dan pada mereka yang manjadikan kenyataan ini sebagai kata-kata balas ""Kalau gitu tak payah la guna internet kalau semua kena boikot""
What to say, korang memang la emmm... geram. Pisau kalau kita guna untuk potong buah, jadilah ia berguna namun bile ia digunakan untuk membunuh, ia jadi satu threat. Sama jugak macam internet, ia bergantung pada macam mana korang guna. Seriuosly cara korang bagi reasoning macam la umur korang ni 5 tahun.
Walaupun Majalah al-Islam tu kadang-kadang tak betul, namun bila ana baca artikel tentang facebook depan bilik Dr. Masdinah, ana rasa tersentuh. Betapa banyaknye sumbangan facebook pada zionis dan korang yang gunakan facebook tu dah jadi "jundu" mereka.

Susah sangat ke nak terima hakikat yang facebook tu boikot? Tak boleh ke samakan Facebook tu macam mcd? susah sangat ke? Kalau korang bole berhenti makan, kenapa korang tak bole berhenti klik? Kalau macam tu, ana bole la pergi starbucks sebab ana tau starbucks tu profit dia tak bagi pada yahudi, bukan nye yahudi punye pun. Lagipun prosedur nak hantar duit pada zionis susah sikit melalui perniagaan.

ANA PUN BOLEH JUSTIFY LA KALAU ANA NAK!

tapi ana tak.

Kenapa?
Alhamdulillah, Allah bagi ana kekuatan luar biasa bila kena hal-hal boikot ni.

Antara yang ana dapat baca tentang Mark ni di Wiki ialah, di wiki, tak disebut langsung yang co-founder of facebook tu adalah Yahudi. Tapi bila ana teruskan mencari lagi, banyak maklumat yang ana dapat.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090613044539AAA75Gv
http://www.allfacebook.com/2008/03/my-interview-with-mark-zuckerberg/
http://www.jewishjournal.com/thegodblog/item/facebook_and_the_jews_20090519/
http://www.google.com.my/search?q=jewish+and+facebook&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a
http://www.stormfront.org/forum/showthread.php?t=634347

and post ini, dengan mengunakan kata ganti diri sebagai "ana", of course korang tau untuk sapa ana tujukan post ini. Jangan datang pada ana menerangkan dan menunjukkan diri tu boikot tapi ada facebook. Sorry la pada orang yang justify facebook tu bole pakai, ana da hilang respect pada korang. Disebabkan korang nak guna, korang keluar la fatwa sendiri. WEML.